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Sleeping nightmare

3 replies

Lou9685 · 06/08/2013 01:02

3yrs 9 month old daughter always been a great sleeper on Gina ford routines. She's dry at night and out of nappies, in her own bed and up til 2 weeks ago no problems putting her down. However, it's recently become horrendous. We possibly made mistake of letting her sleep in our bed a couple of times as a treat....she now wants to be in our bed all the time, cannot put her down without screaming crying etc. we had a baby gate, she got over it so removed it. Have tried the putting back to bed but no avail, she just gets even worse. I've seen extra tall baby gates for sale....should I invest in one or is that a step back after removing the original gate? She's a floor up from us so also concerned about her safety.

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burntthedinner · 06/08/2013 01:27

Just seen this - all mine are older but remember that phase - a nightmare - and so exhausting! I think, though, its more likely your dd just made a development leap and now sees the distance between you and her at night in a more conscious way, rather than just wanting to be with you in your bed. If a floor up, thats quite a way away, so a gate might make things worse or else persuade her to give up altogether - there's no predicting on that.
You could sleep in the floor in her room for a few nights so it feels like yours too, or leave her with something that smells of you for comfort in her cot?
If you have doubts about safety, they do pick up on it quickly and get nervous.
If no time to spend relaxing in her room, maybe the atmosphere of it has changed recently and it needs cosying up a bit?
So many reasons - don't think any parent gets to the bottom of it - just eventually finds something that works

Lou9685 · 06/08/2013 08:27

Thank you for reply. Husband doesn't want to reinstate the gate so he's been sleeping on her floor which I don't agree with. I actually love having her sleep with us but I know it's not good!

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burntthedinner · 07/08/2013 20:20

Well, I loved sleeping with mine too, (hubby on the floor but we had been together for many yrs so not a problem - it might be for some) and not always 'bad' to do that. If thats what your heart is saying, perhaps you should do that? My ds is now 7 and doesn't seem to have affected him negatively, nor me, nor our relationship - either hubby or ds. It was just necessary at the time so we could get some sleep.

I think, 'stay calm' and make less of it - its a very normal phase to go through.The heart is always a better judge than the head in these things. So long as you don't let your dd become a 'weapon' between you.

If there is enough floor space, you could sleep in her room too - if not, put a cot in your room and move her into it from your bed when she's asleep? Or let her sleep on - but the cot is there as a 'sign'.

Most of all - be 'together' with your dh - because the last thing any dd needs is to cause disagreement/division - so if you can agree to agree, whatever you decide, that's best for all of you in the long run.

Its whatever works for you - there are no rules. In some cultures it would be unthinkable to have such a young child on their own - in others, they'd never have them in the same room as the parents from day one. Hope this helps :) it sounds a bit vague!

Just be 'a unit' with your dd again like when they're tiny?

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