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Behaviour/development

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2.5 yr old hitting - only me and only at bedtime (sorry - a bit long)

4 replies

LittlePoot · 05/08/2013 21:25

So, my usually pretty lovely 2.5 year old is going through a phase which is starting to drive me slightly nuts. Basically, when it comes to bedtime (very rarely any other time), we get through most of the usual routine and then he starts to slap me. If I manage to block the slaps he'll aim for a bite or even a headbutt. I tell him its not nice to hit, I try and distract or just move him so he can't reach, but he just keeps going until I have to react. My usual reaction is a kind of time out - I give him a warning, try to change the subject, but then if he hits me again I sit him in another room on his own for about a minute after telling him why. I started by trying to get him to apologise after that but he'd refuse and we'd go on like that for ages. So now I just tell him again that its not kind to hit and we have a cuddle and carry on. He never does it to my husband (although he did used to - we can't work out what happened to stop it), and he only does it at bedtime - and it seems as though he's just trying to get told off so he wastes more time before having to go to bed! Naps are the same - but again, only for me - not for dh. I've googled for advice but it always seems to be related to hitting with a new baby or hitting because they can't get their point across, but we have no new baby and his speech is actually really good. He eats well, sleeps well and plays outside a lot. Gets lots of positive attention and is annoyingly uninterested in tv - only wholesome toddler fun (!). I've always been able to avoid most bad behaviour through distraction and lots of praise for good stuff, so this has really got me stumped. And is driving me crazy. Tonight I got really cross and had to give him to dh to get him to bed before I really lost my temper. Any advice??

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Naebother · 05/08/2013 21:43

He is playing for time. Mine does this.

I am very firm

No hitting mummy.

Put him in bed shut door.

He screams and bangs for a few minutes. I go in. Are you ready to say sorry?

Sometimes takes a while to get an apology out of him. But he has stopped doing it now.

Good luck..

TeddyPickleStick · 05/08/2013 21:47

Very normal. Get cross with him .. You won't be able to go through his whole childhood using distraction methods. Just tell him off and leave the room if he tries to hit you.

It's a pretty normal little phase though and he will soon stop.

LittlePoot · 05/08/2013 21:52

Thanks very much for your good advice! So, the putting him in bed thing I'd thought about, but I'm concerned about making bed a place for punishment, especially as he's always been so happy to go to bed and a good sleeper. And don't get me wrong - I'm not a total pacifist and have got cross about things with him, it's just that we've really been able to avoid quite a lot so far with distraction. You're absolutely right that he's playing for time - it's just hard to see a response that doesn't give him the time he's after. Firm sounds like the way to go. Will steel myself for tomorrow night....

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Naebother · 05/08/2013 22:13

Don't worry about using the bed for this. He is old enough now to understand its for sleep and its now sleep time regardless of what he is doing to distract from this.

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