Getting nowhere - slowly. Any tips for the stubborn 3 yo?

[poppyknot]

Have been trying to toilet train DD1 (aged 3 now) for months now with little success. We started in the summer (everyone said it would be a cinch then.

DD1 then started Playgroup and again everyone said that once she saw others going to the loo, she would want to go herself. Rewards, stars etc have not helped.
We have tried potties, loo seats, sitting on the potty for long stretches or asking every five minutes. Because she is now 3, DD1 can discuss the theory,and would pass the written exam, but the practice doesn't seem to interest her.

Has anyone got tips for the more stubborn ones? I have visions of DD2 being the first to wear pants.........

Yes. Stop trying to train her, put her back in nappies and don't mention it again. I did this with my 2.10 year old dd and it worked a treat. She wanted to try herself about a month later and was completely dry within a couple of days.

I disagree, she's playing games with you and winning every time. Aged 3 is really too old to be in nappies (apart from at night). I think you should just go for it and not put her in nappies at all during the day. As you say, she is more than capable of understanding when she needs the loo and what to do about it. I did both my ds's at age 2 on the dot when they were old enough to understand what was required of them but not wise enough to start arguing about it.

My ds is 2.5 and no way ready to use the loo. I do think it depends on the child. Trying to do it at two for my son would have give us both a nervous breakdown. He can hardly climb a single step, let alone know how to use the loo.

Who says three is too old to be in nappies? It's sheer luck, trifle, that both yours were trained at two.

Totally agree with Enid and Batters - just forget it for now. Stick her back in nappies (maybe the odd subtle comment - not too heavy handed - about trying again when she's a "big girl"!) If she thinks it's something you're concerned about she'll probably play up to that. If you act like potty training is the farthest thing from your mind, and of no concern at all you might find her more keen to do it. Reverse psychology

The absolute last thing you want to do is make a big issue out of it - that way lies madness! She'll do it, probably very soon. Good luck.

oh god I am with you poppyknot - I have an almost three year old daughter - who knows the theory - and tells it to her dolls - but won't do it in practice. i get upset at times - and worried she will be in nappies at school etc.. they are good at nursery school and change her nappy which is a relief however I do feel ashamed and hopeless especially as everyone says girls are easier than boys (my son has all thsi to come)! I also know lots of trained two and a half year olds...
I want to forget it, wait and not make it an issue - but I keep finding myself slipping in bribes etc.. she is much worse on pooing - where she has never once done it on the potty or loo - gets constipated often and has no regularity - I think probably I have stressed her out on this one.
so should I just stop completely for a couple of months and hope this summer will be the one?

Poppyknot and Mousie, please don't worry. I was exactly where you are a month ago: dd just turned 3 and was stubbornly resisting and didn't seem to care. I just ignored it (with gritted teeth) and 2 days after her birthday it was as though a switch was flicked and she just did it, with very few accidents.

I too was told it would be easier with a girl: hah! ds1 was trained at 2.6 but dd has been quicker to get the hang of it and many many fewer accidents. I'm with Enid and Batter, lay off and it'll happen when she's ready.

Thanks for the supportive tips -I am looking forward to the switch flicking!

Or are there any Pant Camps out there for intensive training?

I am not relishing another weekend of 'accidents' anyway as I am 40 on Monday and feel a bit fragile -
I think that thought belongs to another thread though.............