Second DC, but worried I'm doing it 'wrong' this time...

[pipsicles]

With my DS, I had plenty of people tell me not to 'spoil' him with cuddles and rocking to sleep etc, so although I didn't do any kind of sleep training until he was past 6mths, I did try to follow this advice to a certain extent, only to find that he grew up all too quickly and I felt I may have 'missed out'. From then on, I vowed that with any subsequent DCs I would cuddle if I was happy to or they needed me to.

So. Here I sit with my beautiful 5mo DD, and I have stuck to my word. However, the 'problem' is that I'm worried that in doing what I said I would, she has started forming bad habits that cannot be broken. She will not settle without me (or anyone else), pacing with her and never has. Occasionally she will drop off in the pram and she will sleep in the car, but these really are not techniques I wish to use to get her to sleep at night! Every night we follow the same routine (bath, sometimes massage, milk, bed), but this usually ultimately ends with me pacing around the house before she finally drops off.

In many ways, I have no issues doing this - I love that she wants to be close and I have no shame in admitting that I love being 'needed' - but my back is really starting to suffer, as she's not a dinky girl, and ultimately I worry that I'm never going to get her to sleep any other way.

Has anyone else had similar experiences and come out the other side? Do I just need to embrace it and wait a bit longer, or should I take action? Any advice gratefully received!

Hiya

I wish I could offer some advice. DD2 was the same, she cried most of the day & no matter what I tried, she constantly wanted to be held. She craved cuddles & contact all the time. However I didn't do anything different than what I did with DD2 & she was a dream baby who hardly ever cried & slept for 4 hours in between feeds. It's just that both girls are very different.

It's not that you're doing anything wrong, some babies are just much more clingy & unsettled than others. Hopefully your DD will grow out of it soon.

x

Maybe get a sling she might like the being close to you but you'll get your hand back! Also think about introducing sleep cues, have a look at the BabyCalm sleep workshop it's full of great ideas.

Firstly don't worry you haven't spoilt her. You have no reason to believe that by cuddling her you have spoilt her, she could have been just the same if you had left her to cry herself to sleep.

How does she sleep once she has been rocked? Does she sleep through?

Have you read Sound Sleep by Sarah Woodhouse? Your library might have a copy

Forgot to say my dd was like this and she just grew out of it. She's 6 now and still loves Mummy cuddles

You might find this, this and this helpful

Thank you, ladies for your kind replies and your time to give me links and recommendations. I've had a quick look at them all and there is all sorts of useful stuff I can use, it also things that reassure me that I am doing the right thing, so thank you.

I do use a sling with her, often for sleep and stupidly have been trying to stop, to help her get used to not being in it. I shall be using again with full force tomorrow, especially as it supports my back way better than I can just holding her!

When she sleeps, she usually does a couple of good long stretches, so I'm not concerned about her in that respect - I expect sleepless nights, I have a young baby - I just wish I would listen to my body and go to bed at a sensible time...!

Thanks again, your thoughts and advice are much appreciated

Yes, go to bed!