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DD at 18 months is quite violent....

9 replies

NumptyNu · 03/08/2013 21:50

She is so different to her two older sisters. I'm quite taken aback and upset. She gets frustrated (like ant toddler), but it manifests in kicking, slapping, scratching etc. Has anyone experienced this? Any tips on how to handle?

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Bumblebee78 · 03/08/2013 22:10

Yes, our first and second ds's are very different. DS1 was a difficult baby (maybe more to do with that I was down after having him) but has only had 1 major tantrum, and apart from the usual kid whinging is generally great. DS 2 very different from the start.

DS2 very placid as a baby but behaviour now is quite naughty. He rips books, pulls out dvd's, crayons on walls etc, but then is so charming and cute with it.

Our first parents evening at nursery involved a lecture on biting and pushing. Last week, we got 2 reports of him fighting and he is only 20 months. He bites sometimes and has almost worn out the carpet on our stairs from the amount of time he spends on the naughty step!

He tantrums, squeals and cries when he doesnt get what he wants, then lays on the floor in a mood!

Im hoping he will grow out of it once he can communicate what he wants better. I go for the we dont hit etc, or a stern no, that is naughty and hurts. Everyone tells us to do it back to them and all have a story of themselves or someone else who had it done back and they never did it again, but i dont want to do that. We dont smack our kids.

He is learning and and is getting better. he knows now to go and say sorry too. Good luck.

Gyllenhaalic · 04/08/2013 21:45

My DS is the same. He's 18 months and spends way too long screaming, crying, hitting, biting etc. I get upset about it. Thankfully he's not at nursery so it's just us and himself he attacks but it is still heart breaking. I usually try not to give too big a reaction, just say 'no we don't hit/ bite' then move him away from me or whoever he's trying to hurt. It's a horrible phase. DS was never a particularly easy baby but his frustration seems through the roof lately. I am also hoping once he can communicate better it will improve.

Sparklyboots · 04/08/2013 21:53

I agree with Gyllenhaalic that your reaction shouldn't be too big otherwise you just end up feeding the emotion of the situation. This can be hard when other kids are involved because you feel like you have to show their parent that you are aware of the seriousness of the situation... I try to give my DS language in those moments cos I assume it's frustration because he can't communicate his desires/ needs etc - so I'll be saying 'I can see you feel very cross about this!' etc. When it's because of some boundary I've put in place, I tend to say, 'That doesn't seem fair to you because...'. Totally setting myself up for future arguments in a way - actually giving him the lines he'll use on me. But I'd rather he said it than smacked someone...

Purplehonesty · 04/08/2013 22:13

My ds (4) is as gentle as they come, right from being a baby he would just turn away if someone took a toy from him or if he was pushed etc his little face would crumple and he'd come to me.
Dd (1) is totally the opposite - she yells when she wants things, hits ds, snatches his toys and bit his finger the other day.
We have nicknamed her the smiling assassin, she is so cute with it...
Ds is so good with her and just says 'oh you little monkey that's naughty'; he never hits back.
But she is going to be such hard work I can see it now....

NumptyNu · 04/08/2013 22:19

Thanks all. Perhaps I should elaborate that it is mainly myself and DH that take a beating. When attempting to change her bum today, I had to work sideways on to protect my chest area (ie to take the force on my arm and shoulder instead) because she was kicking so hard. This was several hours ago and my arm is still tingling a bit (throbbing would be an exaggeration, but I can still feel it).

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Bumblebee78 · 05/08/2013 22:41

Purplehonesty, i cant believe it, we call our DS2 the smiling assassin! DS 1 is the psychopath, but don't tell Esther Ranzen!

mamababa · 07/08/2013 10:27

I was just about to post something similar! DS is 19 months and bites, grabs skin by the handful an scratches. Me, DH, DS1 who is 5 etc. he is worse when tired/excited but does it all the time. Not at nursery though? After he has done it he points and says 'ow' and then gives us affectionate cuddles by way of apology!? I have tried saying No, gently, don't hit/bite/scratch/pinch but to no avail. If he gets very bad I put him in the cot for 5 minutes. He thinks it's funny to scratch pinch etc. he's just attacked me while I have typed this post Hmm any ideas gratefully received

spacegirl81 · 08/08/2013 19:03

Watching with interest as my DS1 2.2 is very similar to mamababa Hmm

spacegirl81 · 14/08/2013 12:38

Bumping for further advice Hmm

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