I think he sees me as doing the 'boring' stuff and DH as the 'fun' one but it's starting to get ridiculous now..tonight he's gone to bed without a story (regrettably but he spent so much time having a tantrum that we ran out of time and DD was begging for bed too) - I understand that a lot of it at this age is testing boundaries and asserting independence but we're both fed up with it and can't seem to find a solution.
for the last few months he's only 'let' me change his nappy, get him dressed, stuff like that. I mean he's not exactly keeping still for me but is more co-operative during nappy changes at least, for DH to be able to do them he would have to literally pin him down and prise his legs apart and obviously neither of us are prepared to do that. now it's cleaning teeth as well, tonight he's had both hands in his mouth to stop DH getting the toothbrush in so we've 'given in' in the end and I did it. he's not exactly sweetness and light with me either, he swallows the toothpaste when I ask him to spit etc but we get the job done with a silly song and a visual chart has been working really well.
I just hate having power struggles with a two year old, he's never got his own way with a tantrum before so it's not like he thinks we'll change our minds. the thing is I don't think he's being purposely difficult, he looks terrified 
I don't think he's ready for potty training or cleaning his own teeth yet but he's starting to do what he can on his own in terms of getting dressed and undressed. we've explained sometimes it'll be me cleaning his teeth and sometimes Dad but he kicks off whenever DH tries to do it, sometimes he'll just say 'time for teeth' or make a move to the bathroom and he'll start screaming - I think it's some kind of anxiety but what do we do?