2 year old so upset now new baby awake more.

[Mummy252]

so we prepared dd as best we could for arrival of our now 10 week old son and all seemed perfect......until about a week ago. now ds is awake more she seems so unhappy at having to share my attention.
she is still VERY loving to him, kisses cuddles, "hiya max" and never hits or is nasty to him as I have read in other posts with jealous siblings.
shes always been very clingy to me but its getting extreme, she wants carrying loterally from room to room, is just sitting on my knee all the time cuddling rather than playing, and if I have to make a bottle, change a nappy or pick baby up, half the time shes fine, other half she throws a huge tantrum, nothing like shes ever done before, grabs my legs and throws herself round the floor hysterical.
im trying to just ignore her until she stops but we have never had these issues before so I feel terrible doing it.
I don't want to make her even worse and would like to nip this in the bud before it gets worse.
its wholly centred on me not baby. dh works all the time and dd really doesn't go to him at all, we also see grandma a lot and whilst she will play with grandma at the moment she wont, she doesn't go to nursery so were all together 24/7.
we also go to ballet, tumbletots etc 5 days a week and they all finished for summer so shes possibly missing this too.

I would just try telling her repeatedly that she is mummy's big girl and ask her to help you with nappy changes etc. so she gets attention if sorts at the same time

I would do things like make sure she could hear me telling the baby he has to wait while I do something with her and try and find things they can 'do' together - singing songs, watching a DVD, feeding the ducks. She will come round and I'm sure once groups etc. start up again things will improve a lot.

Just have to ride it out I'm afraid. You can't really nip it in the bud, it's a huge transition and anyway, sibling rivalry never goes away it just simmers and pops through every now and then.

Indulge her a bit - she may seem so grown up but she is still so young. Give her cuddles and baby her if she wants that.

Ds was 2 when his sister arrived. I had tactics for dealing with certain things eg feeding baby, he'd get a snack. Napping baby, he'd watch the tv while I did that etc etc. also had magazines and the odd hot wheels car for emergency meltdowns. I didn't attempt to nip it in the bud - just distract or give him his cuddles. I did stamp down hard on any violence towards his baby sister though.

Now dd is 20 months and ds nearly 4 and oh they are great together. Ds was cuddling dd at bedtime today telling her "you're so beautiful" and they were both lying on his bed kicking the covers around and giggling like loons. In the park, they were chasing each other across the grass laughing away. It's great!

I would get your eldest a new baby dolly! Make it a trip out for the day and let her choose one herself! Say this is her new baby like max is yours. And when you have to do something for max eg. Change a nappy or feed him ask her to do the same to her dolly she will feel independent and important just like mummy :) hope this helps x

That's a difficult one as like you say, she has always been clingy and now the arrival of new baby has heightened that. I have a two and a half yr old and 9 week old but fortunately my eldest isn't clingy in the slightest. I can barely get a cuddle out of her these days & she tells me "mummy your kisses are yucky!" Lol. Anyhow, i would continue eith lots of communication about the baby, explaining how baby geeks when crying eg "baby is feeling sad as she is very very tired. Mummy needs to give her a cuddle so that she feels better"
Or maybe say "do you think mummy should cuddle her so that she feels better?" Try talking to her about when she was a baby eg "when you were a baby mummy cuddle you lots when you were tired/gave you milk in a bottle
obviously don't want her to opt out of play/changed your nappy on this mat etc. talk alout about her feelings. The
More she can express them the better for now & the future. Don't ask how she feels as she can't vocalise it fully, tell her. "Eg I know your feeling upset because you would like to cuddle mummy too but baby is tired and needs mummy's help to fall asleep". I do a lot of "I know you are feeling....." when behaviour slips (mostly my daughter gets over excited and becomes very impulsive).
Try not to indulge in the cuddles she wants to opt out of play. I would give her one reassuring cuddle and a chat about what you expect and then that's it. Off the knee. If she wants to stand/sit next to you fine but she needs to play/socialise away from your side.
Try to allow more daddy & daughter time. Could bath time be their 'thing'? Could he take her out 1:1 to practice a bike/trike/scooter? Sounds like things need to be developed further there & this may have a possible impact on the clingyness. My daughter doesn't go to nursery yet either so I know how intense things are for you right now. Despite groups finishing, we get out to the park/soft play/play dates etc. also check out your local sure start childrens centre on your council website, they run a programme of fun activities throughout the holidays eg messy play/arts & crafts/stay & play/singing & story time.

Good luck

Ps sorry for the spelling mistakes/jumbled up middle part. It's 3am here! Hope it makes sense

Have you got a sling/wrap for baby, that way he can be cuddled or nap while you have hands free to play with DD?

Leave the baby with someone else a few times a week to give you and your daughter some one to one time.