Pls help with my aggressive 22 month old DD!!!!!!!!

[Quacks]

My 22 month DD2 has developed a few nasty habits and I'm vey concerned about her.

• Biting
• Pinching
• Pulling DD1's hair until she screams the place down
• ripping books
• throwing toys

The latter I can handle. Biting, pinching and hair pulling are very worrying. It's mostly when tired. I can be singing a lullably going to sleep and she will try to take my eyes out! I have tried shouting, ignoring, giving DD1 fuss when she's hurt, even a smacked hand, all to no avail, she takes pleasure in it totally!
Today when she did it up to 10 times a day!) I really shouted and grabbed her hand and said NO! she got the bottom lip, but my husband said I sounded like I was committing murder! But I saw a glimmer of fear.
Please help my DD1 was the opposite of this and DD2 is starting big nursery in a month. BTW she goes to chilminder mornings only and is v happy. Only tried to pinch/bite a couple of times.
TQ for any thoughts!!!!!

Hi sorry no-one else has added a message. I'm a great believer in positive and I'm afraid it sounds like you have a couple of months have hard work on your hands. I believe she is behaving this way for your attention and distraction is the key. Playing with her and praising her for good behaviour and when you see her pick her hand up to smack or pinch distract her instead with lots of praise for doing something else. Also involving her in your chores as mummys little helper. That'll keep her busy and give her loads of positive attention. So dusting, sweeping floor with her own little brush, washing up plastics for you, put washing in washing machine etc. in short a little version of what ever you are doing. My DD 2.6 loves doing this especially cooking. She chops mushrooms with a plastic fork and mixes things for example. You can even get her to do it with play food in her own box stored in the kitchen. Also ensuring she has special time with you. I put my 8mth old DS in play pen twice a day for 20-30 mins with a snack and just play with my DD. Also Ds goes in high chair in kitchen when DD and I are cooking together. I know you have an older child but perhaps you could get the older child to do something nice like sticking and glueing whilst you do something with the younger one. I know that sounds sinple but giving attention works with us.
I truely think completely ignoring the aggressive stuff and distracting her so that it doesn't happen and you don't have to deal with it is the key. If it does happen a sharp NO and then withdrawing all attention by you and your DD1 leaving the room might help. Haven't actually had to deal with this so good luck!
Hope you find this useful

I agree with bouncyball, relentless positivity will win the day. Hard work though! I know it's not easy staying calm all through a day of this behaviour especially when she's hurting your other child. I get good results too from the naughty step - just be very clear with her about why without shouting, don't leave her a long time, and then forgive without reservation and get back to buckets of praise. Most things with children esp this age are phases though so maybe you won't have to clear off the bottom stair for too long! (Mine has shoes and toys and some dog hair on).

Agree with bb, seems like she's looking for attention from you. Saw my cousin go through it with her dd1. Lots of praise for the good stuff and put out of the room after a warning for the bad stuff. Worked for her but tok a while. Now she can sense when something bold is going to happen and all she needs to say is 'ah ah don't do that, come and give mummy a cuddle' and it stops.

Agree also with what's been said....you're being angry with her is only re-inforcing the fact that shouting/anger/aggression is an appropriate way to behave and secondly that she will get attention if she behaves badly.

It's very hard though I know.

hey quacks...
please try not to worry that this behaviour will last/become a permenat fixture unless you sort it out..cos the worry will affect how you respond to it.

in my experience lots of very lovely and gorgeous toddlers go through this phase at 22 months!!...and emerge a couple of months later with a new thing to drive you insane!

As difficult as it will be to not shout etc (my neighbours know everything that goes on in my house from the screaming some days!), try the positive reinforcing of good behavior (I am sure there must be some although you don't feel like there is ;) I know its difficult when you just want to give smacks or instill the fear of god in them to sort the behavior out. (that will just make you feel bad) The naughty step is working for us with punishing bad behavior. (a la supernanny) When he throws anything (I should say EVERYTHING cutlery, balls, trucks, food, ornaments, candles) he gets one warning not to do it, then the item it goes to the top of the fridge for 5 minutes before he can have it back. (and there are tears and a combo of the naughty step!) That sorted out the throwing though. Why not structure your day a bit and do chores in the am and just kids stuff in the pm? or give DD2 some one on one time just before you need to do some tasks and DD2 might not need so much attention and you will be able to get on with tasks? good luck

Quackers is that you ?

Gosh thanks all for the advice!!

yES IT;S ME!!!!!!XX
Much appreciated, soory for delay in respondng, I don;t like to delay my responses!!!

I find it very hard to deal with this. I had such a good DD1, she never ever did this!!! She is obsessed with turning off the |TV now as it gets a reaction. I have tried ignoring, but perhaps as she is at childminders all am I should make more effort for special time together. I do read to her and play jigsaws before we pick up DD1 and this is good and works, but DD1 frightened of her!!! I never thought I'd have to deal with this!!!