Why do i feel people dont care...

[feelflat]

I have namechanged but wanted to post as I feel so flat and rubbish about the state of my friendships I keep wondering is it me? Am I wanting too much?

Friends are happy to see me but don't really make the plans to see me, its always me starting off the texts etc (apart from one or two who are both ways)

I have moved to another area 18months ago and when planning on coming back to visit people are not really putting themselves out to see me i.e I can only see you for an hour as I need to go to xyz..

My friend came to the area (supposedly to visit) but hasn't even dropped in as she as gone to another area for the day with her children.

I am struggling to make new friends where I have moved to. One couple we really get on with asked us over and then cancelled the same day and postponed to this weekend yet when I saw them they told me of their plans the weekend with other friends.

I just feel so down, me and my husband are sociable friendly people and we feel so isolated and lonely :(

What is going wrong

oops wrong section

Hello,
The friends who always let you do the instigating are probably just letting you do it coz you always do and your now stuck in those roles. I have a few friends who are 'organisers' and I must admit I probably don't do as much as I should in terms of contacting them.

I know how you feel because I moved a few years ago and it always annoys me when I go home and people don't make the effort but they have lives, children, friends and work and its not always easy to meet up.
In terms of new friends I think it's hard because its the friend equivalent of dating and comes with a bit of anxiety for some people so they might cancel or not be keen, not because they don't like you, but because it is the unknown and that stresses them out.
I don't have any real advice I think it just takes time.
Good luck and keep putting yourself out there.