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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Breastfeeding blues...

11 replies

sleepwhatssleep · 29/07/2013 19:28

Last week DS was having a rage whilst bf - seemed unsatissfied. In my exhausted state I decided to give him formula. I haven't bf or pumped since Saturday. My boobs are like canon balls and so painful so I'm currently pumping. The main thing is the guilt!! I feel terrible for not bf him. So I'm going to pump to re-regulate supply and pick up bf again - my poor boy won't know wether he's coming or going!

Bf this time around just hasn't been anywhere near as enjoyable. He was 8 weeks prem but my girls were both preemies so I'm used to that. He didn't gain weight for 6 weeks - just a half once here. Then at 6 weeks I took him to hospital as he'd not been feeding well at all, then was very grey, unresponsive and wasn't breathing well. It turned out he had viral meningitis, he began fitting and was sedated then ventilated when he com

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Original poster

sleepwhatssleep · 29/07/2013 19:31

Sorry - stupid phone!

Completely stopped breathing. So I guess it's all been a bit stressful I suppose.

My question is: have you all found bf to be great all the time? Do you find it easier than bottle feeding especially with other children?

OP posts:

Amiee · 29/07/2013 19:49

It's a hard one because breast milk is supposed to be much better for them and if he's been sick and a prem I would think breast milk would be the best option but you have to do what's best for your whole family. A stressed out mum is no good for a child and if Bf is making you miserable then you have to way it up.
I think sterilised warm milk on tap (bf) is the 'easy' option but everyone's situation is different.
Maybe you could try both? I didn't work for me but it has done for others.
Most importantly I think you have to do what's best for you and your kids don't let parents or in laws etc make you feel bad either way.

queenmools · 29/07/2013 19:51

I don't have any very good advice but I didn't want you to go unanswered. Please don't feel guilty, you are doing your best. I hated breastfeeding, I did it for 8 months but it felt like a life sentence. I found it painful and my son would feed for literally hours so going out was hard work. I ended up giving formula when out. You are doing a great job what ever you decide.

Misty9 · 29/07/2013 19:56

You poor thing :( you've been through an awful time it sounds - and with other little ones to care for as well. In answer to your question, I found bf a nightmare for the first 11wks (tongue tie and just too small mouth IMO, plus oversupply) with the most stressful thing being all the conflicting advice we received from the 'experts'.

Do what works for you and your family. He's had the important colostrum, so don't beat yourself up please. You're only human - and it sounds like you're doing a fantastic job. Oh, and I tried formula with ds at about 9wks, but the little sod wouldn't take a bottle. He's now 23mo, stopped bf completely at 15mo and doesn't give my boobs a second glance now! not that there's much to look at now I'm not feeding!

Sending big hugs, and do what's right for your family.

Original poster

sleepwhatssleep · 29/07/2013 20:39

Thanks for the replies. I'm still on the fence. See how it all goes...

Misty you made laugh :)

OP posts:

Misty9 · 29/07/2013 21:03

Laughter is the best medicine :)
Good luck with it all

Strawbry · 30/07/2013 04:22

I was finding bf really tough as my DD is a little and often baby. I started topping up with formula but now give her a bottle late morning (usually when we're out and about) and one before bed to try and help her sleep l

Strawbry · 30/07/2013 04:24

*Longer (which doesn't work I might add). She prefers breast milk but will take the formula too so maybe try a combination. The only thing I will say is that is means their tummies take longer to get used to the formula so poo's might be a bit few and far between and vary in consistency for a few weeks.

Lucylucy57 · 30/07/2013 20:58

I found breastfeeding very difficult and painful. It got to the stage after 7 weeks I was dreading each feed. I had very sore, cracked nipples and the whole situation was driving me to tears several times a day. As a first time mum, I was unprepared for how difficult breastfeeding can be. Equally I had never considered giving my baby anything other than breast milk. I felt terrible for hating breastfeeding so much. The guilt was awful. In the end I went to bottles and expressed and gave formula for a few weeks before switching completely to formula. It took me a while to stop feeling guilty but my general well being and ability to bond and care for my baby improved dramatically. I think it is a very personal decision and you need to consider what is best for you and your babies well being overall. That includes having a sane, happy mum!

Anushka · 31/07/2013 16:43

Sleepwhatsleep you are doing a brilliant job. I totally agree with lucylucy you have to go with whatever works best for you and your family. I think bf can be great if it works n a b nightmare when I doesn't. Also what's happened before doesn't always mean will happen again.

Have you got a bf counsellor you could speak to, I used to go to a bf group (sounds a bit right on but was the best thing I did and they were v unjudgmental) and the lady there gave me brilliant advice/support, so much so I managed to bf dd2 for 10 months without any real problems compared to 8 days (hellish ones) with dd1.

Good luck.

Mouserama · 03/08/2013 05:02

Well done for getting this far and sorry that's your DS has been poorly and that it's not been easy up to now. My thoughts are that bf is something that needs to work for both of you and not all woman enjoy it. My DD is 7 weeks old, and she was a natural at bf'ing and latched on immediately after birth. Apart from the usual sore/cracked nipples for the first couple of weeks, bf has been really easy for both of us. But I hate it! I hate my huge, heavy boobs, and the fact that none of my clothes fit and that I feel sodding huge, sweaty and uncomfortable all the time. I hate bf'ing in public, so always express and bottle feed when I'm out. Because of this, I have an oversupply of milk because I'm always expressing to make sure I have enough when I do go out. I'm constantly worried about getting mastitis. It's so time consuming, as what takes her 45 mins to get from bf'ing, she can take in 15 mins from the bottle. I want to give up all the time, but the guilt is too great as I want to do the best for my DD. At the end of the day, I only need to do this for another 4 months before I hit the 6 month mark but I am definitely giving up at 6 months. The only thing that is convenient about bf'ing is that I don't have to faff around with warming bottles for the night feeds.

You've done a great job so far, but you need to do what's right for both of you. Strangely, of all my friends who have babies the same age, a few of them have gone on to formula and they all have hungry little boys who were not satisfied/getting enough milk from bf'ing. I'm wondering whether boys just tend to be hungier than girls!

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