First week and no sleeping in cot/crib or basket

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Would anyone share their experiences of the their LO not wanting to sleep outside your arms? DD is only 4 days but always wants to be held and won't sleep at night unless she beside me in bed or being held. It's a tough call as I know I can't hold her forever and plan on trying what I can to have her get used to her chairs/basket during the day. It's just at night she works herself up all for hours. She cries, then roots/sucks fingers/bobs head... All the bf cues. So bring her in and BF til she nearly nods off and they instantly wakes and cries when I out her in the basket.

Congratulations on your new baby!

I have an 8 week old who was exactly the same when she was born-wouldn't sleep unless she was on me or her dad...we figured she was still adapting to being out in the big bad world and ignored all the 'helpful' advice that we would be making a rod for our own backs by not making her sleep in her Moses basket.

We basically did what you are suggesting (got her used to sleeping in her pram during the day) and kept trying her in the Moses basket once she was deeply asleep/relaxed. She lasted a little longer every time and from 2-3 weeks she has been sleeping happily in her Moses basket.

Thanks for sharing MrsMallet. Three hours of trying has resulted in her BFing constantly since 11 (3 hours ago). Need to try the little steps you suggest. Poor little thing breaks my heart to see her cry to much.

Er she's tiny..... Very early days. I know you don't want to create bad habits etc and you may feel like if you don't sort it now it will all go wrong.

It won't. Your baby was inside you a week ago - of course they need your closeness. When they're 18 they won't be doing it. Enjoy the snuggles and gradually get them used to sleeping next to you in the next few weeks/months then in their cot etc.

I have two. My first slept on or near me for the first few months. My second was similar with all naps in the sling until 4/5 months. She's 19 months now and fast alseep in her bedroom in her cot, self settling herself. She did that from 6 months (with plenty of times when she needed me to rock her in between). I was much more relaxed about her sleep and she is much better at sorting herself for it.

So don't beat yourself up, chuck the baby books away as they just result in guilt, and go with your instinct. Come to MN if you need advice

Had exactly the same issue! Dd is now 4 weeks old and will sleeping her basket. The odd unsettled night sees her in bed with us.

They do get better as they get older.

Instead of feeding till almost asleep, try feeding till deeply asleep and then transferring.

Also try lying baby on a sheet or muslin and moving to bed with it underneath as it'll still be warm.

Agree with previous posters though, she's tiny!

Congratulations.

My baby is 16 days old and not keen on his basket at all. He will sleep on mat/chair/in pram during the day so I know it's not an issue with being on his back. Like you say, if he is totally asleep when he gets put into the basket then he will sleep there but otherwise he wants to sleep on my chest. Last night was really bad and I kept thinking I'd put him in the basket when he was asleep but then I'd fall asleep and wake up two hours later with him on me or next to me and he didn't go in the basket at all. Tonight it is now 4.45am and he's been asleep in the basket between feeds all night but has just conked out on me post bf and I suspect he's here for the rest of the night now. Point being that a) it is VERY early days and b) you just need to do what is necessary to get some sleep. He is DS3 and we've never co-slept before but I can't not sleep in favour of constantly trying to put him down in basket. I don't feel like I'm making a rod for my own back at all, he's my last baby and I'm just going to make the most of the snuggly cuddles. Just take each night as it comes and try not to stress. 4 days is v early days.

your aren't forming bad habits at 3 days old, sleep is so important for all of you, go with what works but keep trying the cot/basket and they will move eventually. with dd we followed all the guidelines of never co sleep, only ever on back etc nights of screaming before she got used to it. With ds anything to keep him quiet as dd is such a light sleeper and he's moved into his cot in nearly the same time as she did anyway and we've all got a lot more sleep

Congratulations! Ds1 & 2 were both exactly the same. 4 days is still really teeny tiny & at the moment you are her entire world. Enjoy that & this lovely time when all she wants is to be snuggled next to you, it really doesn't last long!
Don't worry about rods being made, they really are very adaptable & how they are 1 day can be completely different the next, just be led by your baby & chuck the books, you'll both be happier for it!
On a practical note feed until lo falls asleep then wait for a good 10 - 20 minutes after so you know she's deeply asleep, have something like a muslin cloth / light sheet or en better whatever top you've been wearing that day (that way she has the comforting familiar smell of you or daddy) under her before starting the feed so when you put her down she's still on something warm then put her down. I even used to sit with the blanket wrapped around me so that was warm too & would smell a bit of me. Add she gets bigger the baby sleeping bags are a god send for this as we used to put ds1 in his before his last feed so no faffing with blankets etc. Also try having the basket pulled up right next to the edge of your side of the bed so it's a bit like she's almost in bed with you. When we finally got both ours to stay asleep when we put them down I spent a few nights with my hand on them for comfort & reassurance.
Don't stress about it, she will do things as she's ready to.

Have you tried swaddling? I realised quite early on that DS2 needed cocooning just as if he was still in the womb! It really helped and he is still swaddled (just about as he is so wriggly now!) at 14 weeks. We bought a zip up swaddle pod off amazon which saves faffing with blankets x

We co-slept with DS for the first couple of weeks for that very same reason.
However, I would try to put him in his Moses basket after each feed, the moment he started to wake I'd pick him back up and put him in the bed with us.
Eventually he was happy to be left in his basket even when not fully asleep.

my oldest was like that would not sleep antwhere but my arms till my sister bought her a swaddle blanket and it worked a treat wrappec her up nice and snug and she would sleep for hours the other thing i would recommend would be to put a item of your clothing in her basket as it will have your sent on it and with comfort her. this may sound strange but she may not find her basket comfortable and cold try folding a blanket under her sheet so its softer i did this with my 10 month old when she was younger and it worked. hope this helps

congrats on the baby :)

My DS was like that we fed him with the mouses basket mattress on my lap then transferred him. Seemed to work a great. He's now outgrown the Moses : ( they grow so fast!