Being proud of your children in a healthy, unsmug way

[hunkermunker]

Is this only possible if you don't talk about it or mention it to anyone other than immediate family?

Yes.

yes

I always find it works out fine if you say to people F*ck it I know i'm boasting but....
You can get away with murder

But Cat, that's being deprecating - I just want to go "Cor!"

I think DS is fab atm, he is being really loving and affectionate (tight cuddles, kisses, trying to get kissed, stroking, patting ahhhhhing) and I spend a lot of my time waiting for someone to ask me about him so I can splurge on. For some reason not many people do.... Glad you asked hunker?

Aww, Flossam - I think your DS is fab too

well, did I tell you that yesterday he did, omg it was...........

I think as a parent you have a right to be delighted in all they do. Yours were hard to come by so to speak so you have every right.

It's a bit like Twig's thread this - you know, the one about being deprecating about your children's achievements or accomplishments. I just want to know if there's ever an acceptable way to just go "My child is amazing, I am in awe of all he does and he's a bloody nice kid to boot"?

Its nice to have the odd boast, unlike my friend who goes on and on as to her wonderful relationship with her boy and how her girl is the top in the school. The problem with over the top boasting is they get found out in the long run. I was told that she could count to 100 and do her alphabet when we played a game (me testing really) I found half the letters missing from the alphabet and confusion by the time we got to 50. She is the type of mum who calls her girl over in front of the audience and expects her to sing the latest song learned at school that day but in actual fact ends up singing it all herself with the child chiming in at the end of a verse after a prod in the ribs, all too much me thinks. I say dont hold back if you are really proud but dont go on and on.

hunker what you are saying is just about expressing how wonderful you think your child is - which is fantastic, i think. its not boasting. go ahead.

There is nothing wrong with being proud of your kids and singing their praises - so long as it is done honestly (ie not OTT or to get one upmanship on another parent or child). If your kids hear you singing their praises it gives them a real confidence boost, shows you appreciate them and are proud of their achievements. Everyone should do more of it - it's nice to hear. It is far far better to hear these positive comments rather than no comments at all - or worse still - critical comments on their performance or behaviour. Sadly however, I think the social norm is that it can be seen more as boasting and a bad thing. It's a real shame - why can't we tell everyone how wonderful our kids are for fear of it not being socially acceptable talk. ALL kids are great in different ways.

You can do it just fine, as long as you do it to close friends who are understanding, or, better still, to people who have no kids, but like yours.

I tend to find the words 'I dunno where she/he gets it from, cos it aint from me or dp' tends to give the proud mother comments a deprecating edge but without doing the kids down.

The thing is, we all think our children are wonderful, and they all are. But our children are more wonderful to us than they are to anyone else, apart from perhaps their grandparents or doting childless rellies. When I'm with close friends, we're far more likely to discuss what worries us about our children than all their wonderful points.

My mum on the otherhand will listen to any amount of praise-singing of her amazing grandsons!

Maybe I'll start a "proud of our children in an unsmug healthy fashion" thread That way we can all have a bit of a harmless boast