Can someone offer some advice or just an ear?

[Titsalinabumsquash]

My 2 children have become really unpleasant since we moved about a month ago.

We had no choice but to move, we needed the extra bedroom and the downstairs facilities for the future.

They are still at the same school but we're too far for them to really play with friends after school unless I bring them all back here and take the, home afterwards, I'm happy to do this but their friend they want over is on holiday and will be until the end of term so I can't organise anything for the holidays with him.

We've been here a month now, we've got a wonderful garden that we didn't have before although we've lost the large football pitch we had outside the front of the old house in the community area.

Anyway the DCs.

DS1 is an immature 8, since we've moved he's done nothing but cry and tell tales and whine.

"DS2 kicked me"
"I can't find x,y,z"
"I'm boooorreed"
"He called me an idiot" etc etc..

Not something he was doing a lot of before, he was finally starting to act his age and socially progress (he's been quite socially behind for a while)

The local children don't seem to want to play with him because all he does is run in every five minutes crying about something or telling tales.

DS2 is 6 and is going from wild rages screaming that he hates us to being really violent, kicking, swearing etc. again not something he was doing before.

I'm trying to be sympathetic, they've been taken away from their home and their friends and put into an area where the localchildren are less keen to play with them and they cannot seem to get on to play with each other for more than a second or 2.

I'm not sure how to remedy it, I want them to be able to play out like they used to, I want them to make friends and enjoy their summer but at the moment all they want to do is stay in. When they do stay in they declare how bored they are or they fight and whine.

This was meant to be great this move, for everyone. I wasn't until we had moved that they have said they didn't want too.

I'm not sure what to do.

You're the adult and made the decision to move based on some rational thought etc. it will have been the right decision. They are probably reacting to the disruption and will take a while to settle in. It's only been a month. It has to get better. Good luck.

Yes, it they will settle down. Moving is stressful and unsettling. Plus it's the end of term and everyone's knackered and irritable. Don't worry.

It must feel like a horrible mistake but don't buckle, OP.

I have one DC who has always been highly resistant to change and one who embraces anything new and different. At the point when you could really do with some family unity and positive outlook, they pick up on your flagging zest and play up. My sympathies. Stick with being disinterested in tale telling, matter of fact. Any local events you can go along to, meet up with families? Do you and their father strike up conversation with neighbours easily, any chance of a weekend low-key house-warming picnic for adults and kids in the back garden?

At bedtime, lots of cuddles and plans for days out. Daytime, adapting their environment to how they'd like, bedroom decor, garden den. I know you won't be flush with money after a big move but try some form of bribery inducement, throw in a cunning, "See, we didn't have the space for this at our old house". Something to burn off excess energy, exploring the neighbourhood, or a day out further afield then home to a pizza tea or barbecue. A hosepipe or garden sprinkler, a game of street hockey, a go-kart, something other children can join in with.

The impossible to change overnight, beyond-even-Mum's-powers stuff - instant friendships, immediate confidence - takes longer.

Any chance you can rope in trusted friends or relations to come round and visit, lavish interest and praise for new surroundings? Get the boys to show them round?

If you're in the UK this heat doesn't help, if they're not sleeping well or waking abnormally early that won't help tempers.

Thank you all for the replies, it's one of those times when I just don't know what I'm doing with all this child rearing business!

I'm hoping the holiday break from school will give them some rest and time to adapt.