Freaking out

[GiveMeVegemite]

I am due to have DS2 in September, DS1 will be 15 months. It's not the age gap I am worried about, it is the fact that DS1 is so demanding and high maintenance.

He still doesn't sleep through the night, wakes up between 4-5 every morning. I have tried gina ford, Ferber, not feeding him when he wakes (for about 5 months), but he would just sit there until 6am and then start crying, so I would go in and get him up. When I do feed him he still takes an hour to go back to sleep and will then sleep until 8am, but I find it hard to get back to sleep! He used to sleep for 2 decent naps a day, but due to the heat will now sleep for 30 mins if I'm lucky!

He cries if I don't play with him, cries when he doesn't want to be held, will climb all over me and then when I lift him up he will scream unless I take him over to whatever he is pointing to! I feel like he acts so happy with my husband, but with me he will completely act up. It is making me a bit miserable and honestly a bit jealous of my husbands relationship with him! Sometimes he is completely lovely, but he hates cuddles, hates kisses and likes to be constantly sung to, talked to, walked around and played with.

This has turned into a moan, bt any advice on how I can improve his behaviour, mainly the sleeping, would be much appreciated!

So, he's a normal toddler then.

If he is waking early have you read this?. Could your DH take him downstairs about 6 to give him his breakfast and you get another hours sleep?

If sleep is an issue one thing to try is giving him 6 smaller meals instead of 3 big ones. My friend was advised this and it worked for her. Turned out her dd was just hungry. It does take a bit more planning but for her it was worth it.

Waking is normal though, but I can see why you want to reduce the wakings. Have you see the isis website or read the NCSS for toddlers and preschoolers?

DS is 15mo and does pretty much everything you say! He wakes usually around 5am, and I've just cut down to one nap in the middle of the day to see if this will make a difference, as I am shattered!

I think the whole screaming thing is just what they do, DS is a sunny little soul and immaculately behaved for everyone else. When my parents look after him he does everything like clockwork and eats all his dinner/goes straight to sleep/allows himself to be cuddled etcetera. I get the brunt of his annoyance and frustration which I do think is normal, and I try not to let it upset me too much. He also hits out at me in frustration which he doesn't do with anyone else. I just try to remain calm all the time and not let it all get to me too much. I do lots of positive reinforcement and repetition of expectations and things are gradually improving. Now if I say 'don't eat it' he generally doesn't...!

dd is also 15m and is pretty much the same! think its pretty normal.
she wakes about 5am and i am also pg so find it really tough. we tend to do one of a few things, either dh gets up at 5am with her so i can get another hour before he goes to work, sometimes i just ignore her till a more reasonable time like 5.45am (!) as i have awful morning sickness and just can't get up or i do get up and take her downstairs but take my duvet and lie on the sofa and no toys/tv etc till 6am. pretty boring but that's dd choice to get up at that hour!!
re sleeping thru the night... would it be possible for you to go away for a couple of nights?? i had a hospital stay recently for 4 nights (not planned) and dd up until that point had never been away from me and would never be settled by dh etc. i did all the nights and she would wake between 2-4 times a night. so we used this enforced hospital stay to night team and dd and dh got on really well and on the 3rd night slept thru when she realised there was no boob/me.
she has slept thru ever since.
x

I don't have any real advice sorry, but take comfort on this: they save their worst behaviour for the ones they love the most! It is because they feel the most secure and at their most relaxed with you that they know they can behave how they like, whereas with others they already feel a social pressure to behave well to please others. I can't remember who told me this or where I read it, but it makes total sense to me.
Have you looked at the baby whisperer? I am not really familiar with it but just thought it might be one you haven't read.

Thanks so much for the advice.

ladypop yep, I have read the baby whisperer, it was a good guide, the EASY routine loosely works for us, but it did nothing for this sleeping. He is definitely a 'spirited' baby! :)

My husband is terrible at getting up. He will occasionally do a 5am feed, but DS tends to poop around 30 mins later and DH can't bear to change these nappies (he is going to have to learn when I am in hospital after my C section though!) so I have to get up anyway, or he will bring him to me so I can change him in our bed.... So husband is not the best help. He also has a new job starting in 3 weeks which means loooooong hours in the city, so will be even less help!

teacher and ferry thanks for the empathy. It's nice to know I'm not alone! I think the new baby will have to be permanently strapped to me whilst I run around after DS1!