Tantrums or something more worrying? Advice/experience please.

[Wilf75]

Hi All,

Our little boy is 3 months away from 2. He's been doing this a while and he headbutts the floor when he doesn't get his way/over tired and angry. Quite hard, and enough sometimes to bruise himself.

He also scratches you if he's 'displeased' with something or again randomly as he's over tired.

I think that he'll get through it and it will stop, especially with the scratching as he just doesn't know how else to express his anger yet.

Mum thinks its not normal and he may have behavioural issues.

I know there isn't a 'normal' as such, but would be nice to understand your experiences.

Not precious (even though he's our amazing boy!), I've asked for the advice, so please speak freely. :)

Thanks.

Look up gentle parenting - I seem to remember advice like giving him a cushion to hit or to hit the floor with... I would say it's too soon to say if it's something deeper than toddler tantrums but that is my uneducated feeling. You can hold his arms gently and tell him not to scratch, that you won't allow it. Sorry I can't be of more help.

Don't think he's abnormal, just passionate.
Emotions are very hard for adults to deal with, too!

My lo is also doing the massive tantrums and head butting and it is very worrying. He is 18 mo but was very premature so suffers development delay and this adds to the frustration imo. He will even use his dummy to hit his head and gives himself lots of tiny bruises. They have an abnormal amount of strength during these episodes and it can be exhausting for me as well as him.
Our physio showed me how to hold him to stop him harming himself and me so maybe you could speak to your health visitor. Not that I have used it as I tend to cuddle him in as I find it easier :(

Hello!

My boy is also doing this, forehead full of bruises! He will be two in a week. He started doing it about 2 months ago, so very similar to your son. How is his speech coming along? My son has very delayed speech, will only say mummy, daddy, granny. He repeats some other words and does animal sounds. Good at taking instructions though, like "put it in the bin" "where is the red one?" etc. The reason I bring this up is because I think my son's frustration and head butting comes from not being able to express himself.

In the beginning he would totally blank us when we told him off. Now he gets upset when we do it, so he is slowly learning that it is wrong. We are always offering cuddles and hugs when "saying sorry" and sometimes I can stop a tantrum by going "Hug instead?".

His scratching has got a lot better recently, for a couple of weeks he would scratch other kids as soon as he had a chance, now it is only when he is very tired or when other children are naughty to him.

Our boy also has a complicated medical story with long hospital stays etc so I am not worrying too much about the delays, as he is still catching up. Only just started walking properly a month ago and that seems to have eased his frustration somewhat (and brought on more independence..!).

It is always hard to worry about a child and to try to stay positive. Tantrums are difficult to deal with, exhausting! I hope that your boy will soon come out of this phase. best wishes.