Am I being stupid re my 3 year old being hurt?

[NancyOsbourne]

Firstly I am pregnant so I guess I want to check that my feelings of sadness for DD1 are not hormonal or PFB syndrome.

DD is a happy, busy, active and bright 3 year old girl but is sensitive - I have never had any major issues with her and nursery are very happy with her too. She loves other children and is patient and plays well even with her younger sibling most of the time.

Recently she has been affected by her friend at nursery saying 'I don't like you if you play with someone else' - waking up at night upset about this etc. I felt this was a normal stage for kids to go through and have no doubt she will have been saying similar or will do at some stage. I have reassured her and of course, her and said friend have made up again and all is well.

However on a play date today with two friends, my DD ended up being intentionally injured by both of their children. A cut lip and a swollen cheek - again she is not perfect but I have never seen her physically hurt anyone and she never retaliates or tells me until I ask why she has a mark or a cut. (One of these children has history of lashing out at parents, family and teachers). These friends are 3 and nearly 5 - parents told them off and have contacted me to see how my DD is since. I at the time cuddled and reassured her but now I just feel so sad for her and for the first time in a long time I don't know what to do to help her - I'm so upset thinking that she must think that everyone is mean to her

Am I to expect this now she is nearing school age? I am being hormonal and over thinking this? I really feel unsure on how best to deal with this. She has always been a popular girl until these recent events and I just need some help with dealing with this please or just tell me I'm being stupid. Thanks in advance.

I think you need to minimise it now for her. The other children were told off and the adults have shown concern. I doubt that its because they don't like her.

When my ddwas that age, she calmly pushed one of her best friends off the top of the climbing frame. They weren't arguing or even interacting at the time. She just pushed her off.

You are hormonal and over thinking this.

Of course it is reasonable to predict that your dd, like all the rest of us, will encounter her fair share of pain and sorrow in life: that is, after all, the human condition.

But there is no reason to regard an infants school as some kind of jungle or free-for-all: in fact, given the very strict policies of most schools on bullying and rough play, she will probably be safer there than she could be anywhere else, and certainly safer than you will have been in your own infants school.

She will be well looked after.

And don't forget that she will be growing, becoming more independent, better able to sort out her own problems, more resilient.

on the bright side this could be an excellent opportunity to teach her about what to do when someone is behaving unacceptably towards her, about dealing with things life throws at you and not stooping to bully's level. Also I would try to arrange another play date soon with gentle children so she knows that social interaction is a positive thing.

Poor DD. A physical injury like that is so unusual, I can't imagine this happening at school. Hopefully it's the last instance of it. I'm sure she'll be fine and will find friends who 'get' her in reception.

Thank you all so much for replying - I have taken all you comments on board.

I think I need to work with her to teach her how to stay stop when this happens. She currently continues to want to play with these children.