DD is 3.3. Until about 4 months ago she was fantastic at bedtime. After stories I just gave her a kiss and a cuddle, turned the light out and closed the door behind me. Simple.
Back in March she began to 'need' me to stay with her and cuddle her until she fell asleep. Over the ensuing months I managed to get further away, first holding hands, rubbing back, then sitting on the end of her bed, then by the door, then outside the door. More recently I've ended up back on the end of her bed and for the last week I've been back to cuddling.
Originally when I was getting further away I would explain to her and it was generally accepted and fine. Now she's not having any of it. Last night it was total melt down when I told her I would sit at the end of her bed rather than cuddle.
What I'm now struggling with is how necessary it is to make her fall asleep without me. I never have a babysitter who will need to put her to bed. She's stayed with friends before, but not since we've had this issue. When she stays at her dad's it seems to vary. She says he cuddles her, but I'm sure once he told me he left her watching something on the laptop, went to check on her and she was asleep (don't get me started on this one 
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Last night while she was bellowing for more cuddles I was really questioning my reasoning. Yes, she needs to be able to fall asleep on her own at some point, but do I really need to force the issue now?
Partly I'm being selfish because by that time of the day I just need to have my own space, rather than being clung to even longer. But then what's a cuddle? If it makes her feel safe and secure I shouldn't deny it should I?
I'm not asking anyone to tell me what to do, but I'd really appreciate some varying viewpoints and arguments so that I can come to my own conclusion.
Thank you 