How much interaction is normal for 2-year old?

[confusedofengland]

DS2 is just 27 months old, has a big brother who is 4.7.

When his big brother has friends round to play or we are all round at friends' houses together (friends of DS1), DS2 seems to find it hard to join in. He has very little speech, which I don't think helps matters.

So, yesterday, we were at the house of friends of DS1, 4.7 year old twins. In the 3 hours we were there, DS2 probably spent 1 hour eating with everybody, 30 mins actively playing with the other DC, 30 mins sitting in paddling pool with them happily running in & out & him being splashed & 1 hour or so snuggling me or friends' mum (tired).

Or, to give another example, on Saturday we had their cousins round, so were 6 DC total (12, 6, 5, 4, 2, 2 weeks). He spent about a third of the time with 2 others on the trampoline, a third on swing/slide helped by 12-year old & the rest of the time just pottering alone & trying to stroke baby (he loves babies & is very gentle with them).

He & DS1 play very well alone together, but I notice that when we are around DS1's friends, DS1 doesn't want DS2 to join in & often their play is too rough for DS2 anyway.

At toddler groups, he seems to spend about half his time playing around other DC & the rest playing on his own. He loves to join in songs, has started doing the actions a lot in the last month or so. He prefers toddler groups to playdates.

He goes to nursery 2 mornings per week & they have said he parallel plays with other DC, which is what they would expect at this age.

Is there anything I can do to encourage him to interact more, especially with older DC? Or to encourage his big brother to include him more? Anybody have any similar experiences or advice?

It sounds like he interacts plenty! The problem sounds more like his language. Are you focusing more on his interaction in this post do you think because the language is worrying you more than you're ready to face at the moment?

He plays the same amount with other DC as I would hope for at his age. But if his language is delayed then his play will perhaps be starting to stall with regards to developing into the next phase.

Is that what you're noticing pehaps?

Thanks Neo

I am sadly all too aware of his language delay and have plenty in place for that - we have had a hearing test which revealed glue ear & have another booked for August, we have been to a Talking Tots group, we have a SALT assessment in August & I put him into nursery just after his 2nd birthday partly because I felt it might help his language (it has, he follows instructions a lot better & is doing more actions for songs & trying to talk).

I just sometimes feel a bit sad for him when I see the older DC on a playdate playing & he is unable to join in or his big brother doesn't want him to (but maybe this is natural to a point)? I'm also trying to figure out how much of it is down to age difference & to character.

I think he sounds fine! I have two DC and they've both been shyer...what you describe is a very sociable little boy. He is still a toddler really and his brother is older...so more mature in his play. It will even out.x

He sounds fine. My lo is nearly 2 & when we go to 'little superstars' a sports based under 5's class he spends about 30-40% of the time either sitting under a table, messing with the chairs, hanging out by 1 of 2 red doors etc. The rest hes fully engaged with whats going on & the others. he's worse when he's tired. I just think that's his level of concentration & interaction he can deal with at his age.

Sounds really good to me, I would only worry if he didn't interact at all, if he plays alongside half the time and clings to you for the rest that sounds very normal!

It depends on the child. DS hardly spoke until he was 3 and had all the glue ear stuff too. He played alongside other children or just got on with his own thing. He still has fairly poor social skills but is now getting more interested - although he still keeps himself to himself. I think he finds groups completely overwhelming so I try to arrange playdates one-to-one. Improving social skills normally means that you have to try to teach him how to be a friend as it maybe is not something he will pick up as easily as other children. Puppet role plan can help with this a bit.

DD is 2 and chats away like a demon. She has a gang of friends. I am completely mystified about how she has managed this as she gets way less chance to meet kids her age as she often has to trail her older brother. Personality plays a massive part, but 2 year old boys are often reserved as far as I can tell! Keep an eye on it and help him out if he needs it when he is a bit older. DD has been to nursery this year and has changed massively but worried me a lot a couple of years back.