Three year old with a serious attitude.

[mootime]

Just back from a lovely break, but my ds who has always been a handful has turned into a bit of a nightmare. He's rude to both me and dh, and been hitting us and his little sister. He refuses to do anything we ask, even with the potential of a reward (maybe there has been too much rewarding for no reason by dh while away).
I hope it will settle down now we are home, but I'm stick for ideas to make him behave. He won't do the naughty step, sees little point in reward charts and frankly seems almost uncontrollable at the moment.
Any advise would be gratefully received.
Thanks.

What about instant sanctions if he won't do the naughty step. Say he hits his sister, and after a warning does it again. Remove whatever toy he was haply playing with.

In the case of my ds it trends to be the toy he hit his sister with.

Hi there,
We had this experience with DS1 2.11 after returning from holiday and have also noticed it when we've had grandparents staying for a couple weeks then leaving.
I think it is a combination of him struggling to cope with the changes in routine, potentially more tired from holiday excitement, over Christmas and birthdays - lots of presents, treats, attention...
Going back to regular routine and with only mommy and daddy to give him attention seems to be a bit of a challenge for him!
Not to be an excuse for bad behaviour but at least a better understanding of what is going on. We tried to give him extra attention from us during the week following and get back into routine as quickly as possible. Also be sure to be consistent and not let the bad behaviour slip even if there is an explanation for it.
I think you'll soon see him revert back to normal again so hang in there!

I'd say try time out (or persist with naughty step) - stay in time out area at least until he calms down (my DS1 usually comes out shortly afterwards saying "I've stopped crying now mommy" - bless!) You say he won't do the naughty step but you may need to make him realise that if he's been naughty there is no option not to - keep putting him back there, repeatedly until he gets the message.

Distract if at all possible. So just before he goes to hit his sister, point out a bird in the garden, "spider" in the opposite corner etc.

I think at this age a lot of it is to do with impulse. You may feel tempted to push a cyclist as they go past you, but you wouldn't because you're a grown up. 3 year olds don't have this so do a lot of "what happens if I do this?" The answer usually involves a cross mummy or their friend being taken home because your child pulled a chair out from under them when they were standing on it .

It will pass, but battering hell out of the mattress with your pillow when it gets too much in the meantime also works.

Thanks for the advice. I think I'm a bit rubbish with the carrying the naughty step or time out through. Maybe i should combine it with immediate sanctions. It just drives me mad. He always wants everything NOW, and his way...

Tempted to buy the super nanny book after listening to her on the radio this afternoon.

I have to say I'm seriously wondering what I've said to prompt a deleted reply!

mootime, it was someone trying to get you to sign up to appear on their TV programme, as opposed to offering any constructive help.