Can't think of an exciting thread title to attract peoples attention so please come and read and help :-)

[ceebeegeebies]

Last weekend, DS1 started playing football with a couple of older boys who live near us (he is nearly 7 and they are about 10/11). They played happily for a couple of hours both days.

This weekend, they were playing out on Friday night so we let DS1 go and play again. After about half an hour he came back and said they had gone in to one of their houses to talk.

.Tonight, one of them came outside so DS1 went to play...he came back after 5 minutes as the other boy had gone inside.Totally understand that they probably don't want a kid hanging around. However there aren't many children for DS1 to play with and he really enjoyed himself so I know he is going to keep wanting to go and play with them but will end up being rejected each time.

Do I stop him going or let him work it out for himself? How much rejection should I let him have??

I would distract him tbh. When you see them or he does, have something else at hand which is attractive. Also explain they are too old for him (which they are) I wouldn't encourage my DD who is 5 to play with neighbouring DC who are 10 or 11.

Older DC discuss issues which are not meant for such little ones. It sounds like they were being kind the first time and are now discouraging him in a way which seems kind to them...avoidance.

I agree try and distract him as much as you can and explain they are a bit big to play with all the time. Difficult I know if there are not many other kids to play with.

It's a shame but I agree with NeoMaxi it doesn't mean they don't want to play ever but not very often IME.

Distracting him is easier said than done...he is such a sociable child who would walk over hot coals to play with other children rather than me, DH or DS2 and there is nothing that we could offer that would be more attractive!

Well it's up to you of course but in your position I would do my utmost to protect him from repeated rejection and of course, the other boys from being hassled.

I think you have two options. Either explain that they are older kids, and your child can't join them as they are gone inside to play games which are only suitable for an older age group. Alternatively, have a word with the lads and see if he can. Join them inside. Or invite the boys to your house. That's three options!

neomaxi I do appreciate your comments and I really don't want the boys to feel they can't ever play out again!!

I just wish his friends lived nearer so they could just play rather than organised playdates

I am in the same position ceebee. I have two DDs and no neighbours have DC so they are always having to play with one another...since one is nearly 9 and the other 5, that doesn't always work out! I'd love a big group of DC in the area for them but some people just don't have that.

I know it must be harder when you only have one child...It will get easier....is there a park nearby?

I do have another DS who is 4 but they are just so different and enjoy playing so differently they are never going to entertain each other

I have had to work hard to help my DDs get along. It's far too soon to dismiss them as playmates OP. My two enjoy different games too and are in fact polar opposites with one being more outgoing and creative than the other.

I lead them into things I know both will enjoy.