Please help - need advice on DS1 and how much rejection he can handle from neighbours older DC...

[ceebeegeebies]

Last weekend, DS1 started playing football with a couple of older boys who live near us (he is nearly 7 and they are about 10/11). They played happily for a couple of hours both days.

This weekend, they were playing out on Friday night so we let DS1 go and play again. After about half an hour he came back and said they had gone in to one of their houses to talk.

Tonight, one of them came outside so DS1 went to play...he came back after 5 minutes as the other boy had gone inside.

Totally understand that they probably don't want a kid hanging around. However there aren't many children for DS1 to play with and he really enjoyed himself so I know he is going to keep wanting to go and play with them but will end up being rejected each time.

Do I stop him going or let him work it out for himself? How much rejection should I let him have??

I've just answered your other thread.

7 to 11 is a huge gap, and I'd say the gap will seem even bigger once they start secondary school.
If you think they're nice lads then you could ask if they will play football with him sometimes, but put a limit on how long he plays.

So if he's been playing for half an hour-an hour depending on how well it all is going, then call him in because of Do tell him before he goes out that you will need him in for that reason.
It's better he leaves with them thinking "wish he'd stay longer" than them thinking "heck, how long do we have to be careful of the younger one".

I think you have to spell it out to your DS that it is likely that the older boys will want to spend time doing their own thing; my DS is 12 and was constantly followed around by a younger boy wanting to play with him; as much as I could I told him he had to 'play nicely' and be kind to the younger boy but it did get a bit awkward, esp. when the younger child gate crashed his party and the parents just seemed to assume it was his 'right' - not saying you are like this but just putting it from the older boys' point of view. There was also the issue of older boys wanting to go further away to play but being expected to 'keep an eye' on the younger one.