15 months and refusing meals

[sofia31]

Ds always ate well until 2 months ago. He now refuses all cooked meals and exists on fruit (all varieties), yoghurt, breads and weetabix/ shreddies. He is putting on weight and generally happy, but its getting into a habit now. He will sometimes eat baked beans with potato. After a good breakfast he has 4oz cows milk at nap time. Then nothing till lunch. He refuses his meal, so has yoghurt and fruit. Is this just teaching him he can get what he wants though? Then he is hungry and grumpy in the pm, so has a snack of fruit/ breadstick/ crackers. He enjoys tea of a sandwich/ cheese on toast/ wrap etc. Any tips for getting protein into him through finger foods? Won't eat any meat either. Its frustrating as he used to eat everything!

I have no advise but my 16 month old dd is exactly the same. will only eat toast/bread, crackers, fruit and yoghurts. we see a dietitian for poor weight gain and she suggested eating as a family (which has worked quite well) and just ignoring her and letting her get on with it. do u eat with him? maybe try this? I was pretty sure it wouldn't work but when we tried it on Wednesday she ate more than she had in a long time.

sorry no real advise hopefully someone will come along with some soon x

Ds has just started doing this too and he's 15 months. I'm just going with the flow and hoping its a phase, I really don't want to make food a battleground. No advice but thought I'd let you know you aren't alone.

Thank you both. I'm trying not to worry too, but its easier said than done! He eats breakfast and lunch with us, but doesn't seem to make any difference to his eating. Will just keep offering and hope he changes his mind pretty soon. Didn't realise the fussy stage started so young!

I think they very quickly realise that something better is on the way. If he refuses lunch then I wouldn't give something else at that time. I would offer a snack a couple of hours later. I don't always give pudding anyway I just dont think its necessary.

Just don't worry they all do it.

Not particularly helpful, but when my eldest was a similar age I tore my hair out with her faddy ways! I remember the HV telling me that many toddlers seems to survive on fresh air and it would just be a phase. Indeed it was; by age two she was a great eater and continues to be. Terribly frustrating whilst it lasts, but try not to worry (I didn't manage this part, but hope you can!)

Thanks. It is reassuring to know we aren't the only ones going through this!

He sounds like he is getting a good varied diet, covering all the food groups and you're doing the right thing by not turning it into a battle ground.

I wouldn't offer one set of food which he doesn't like and then take it away and offer something he likes better. That teaches him to refuse the first food in order to get something better.

Instead decide what you are going to offer him and put it all out at once. If there is no yogurt that's fine. If he refuses to eat what's on offer or when he's finished eating, get him down from the table with a smile.

If there is yogurt he may choose to eat it first but you can leave the other food available too. Allow him to just play with it if he would like to do that.

Don't try to get anything into him. Offer the food and trust him to take what he needs.

It does get better as they get older.

My 19 month old is exactly the same. I try not to react but sometimes it's so hard. Last night I got in after a long commute in the heat. I'm pregnant and was so tired. I forced myself to make her former favourite, lasagne for her to eat today. She ate 1 teaspoon and then spat it out on the floor. I wanted to cry but instead did the pandering 'what about just a little bit / please eat something' etc.

I wish I could just go 'fine, whatever'. I know that's what I should do.

She eats everything they put in front of her on the three days she is at nursery.

I wish I could just go 'fine, whatever'. I know that's what I should do.

Tell yourself that every time you plead with her to have a little bit you are adding to the length and severity of the food refusal habit.

It is hard. It is really, really hard. I know. The thing is you may be making it even harder for yourself.

You need to trust her to decide how much she needs and when she needs it. If she is a healthy weight she is getting enough food so she's clearly doing a pretty good job.

Look at his intake for the whole week not just the day,I bet he's getting what he needs of he's happy and putting on weight.

I know you're right goldmandra. She is in nursery for the next two days so will eat three square meals and I'm determined to be more neutral over the weekend. We will take her out for lunch on Saturday which she normally enjoys and all eat together Sunday.

What if you switch the sandwich to lunchtime and the cooked meal to later?

I think it's quite common for children to only eat well at 2 out of three meals.

My 16mo DS is the same. He was an amazing eater until 12/13 months but since then has got decidedly wilful. Some days he survives on milk and thin air and others he can eat more than me!

My strategy is to ignore, and it has got better. If he refuses I don't offer anything else, unless it's teatime (as I selfishly don't want to get woken up at 1am due to hunger), so if he refuses dinner I take it away, let him get down and play for 30mins - 1 hour and then he gets offered plain buttered toast, milk and a yoghurt (which he does normally eat). I figure this is a long enough gap so that it doesn't look like I'm running around offering alternatives but provides me with some reassurance that he's actually eaten something.

The thing I stress about is that he will not entertain (and actually never has done) eating any raw fruit or veg. He'll eat any cooked, but not raw, so when we're at groups and other children are virtuously chewing on cucumber/carrot/apple etc. I'm breaking out with Organix snacks and cubes of cheese. I worry about people judging a bit but then I have to remind myself I'm being ridiculous!

I think your evening strategy is a good one, mrscog.

I am firm believer in waiting until the child is hungry then offering a similar kind of food again.

Food is more attractive and tastes better if you are hungry. If you offer an alternative straight away it needs to be more attractive to be accepted. This generally means more fatty or sugary which is distinctly undesirable.

Waiting until the child is hungrier isn't about punishing them by making them miserable with hunger as some people see it. Toddlers wouldn't make that connection anyway. It's waiting until their body is telling them to eat. At that point eating is a rewarding experience. The food doesn't need to be full of sugar to taste nice enough to eat.

As for being judged about what your child is eating. You aren't exactly feeding him sugar lumps and doughnuts. Anyone who would judge you isn't worth worrying about.

it could be teething. My DD was exactly like that for every tooth that came out. Fruit and yogurts are cool so it might ve a bit of relief in her gums

As if to prove some kind of point DS has just polished off the dinner I made him last night (which he point blank refused then!). I think the main thing to take away from this stage is it's not so much them expressing likes/dislikes but power/teething/just not being hungry.