10 year old struggling with his temper

[livingbythesea]

hi. my ten year old son is a kind-natured, sensitive boy. he has recently started to find it hard to know how to handle his temper when his 7 yr old brother winds him up. he gets cross, and shouts, and when this doesn't have the desired effect, he occasionally hits or pushes his brother. we have told him that this really isn't acceptable behaviour and he must either walk away, or come and tell us so we can diffuse the situation. his brother can be very irritating, and often taunts him or repeatedly tries to anger him. i have spoken to the younger son, and explained that he must stop trying to upset and anger his brother. my poor 10 year old went to bed in floods of tears this evening as he doesn't know how to handle his need to lash out in retaliation. I hugged and reassured him that his feelings were natural and that his temper swings are a very real and normal part of growing up. but how can I help him more?

DS3 had some trouble with anger outbursts after a bereavement. We bought him a copy of "What to do when your temper flares" by Dawn Huebner. He says it helps and he definitely seems more in control of his anger now.

that's really helpful, thank you so much :)

My ds2 has this issue. He was eleven yesterday.

I shall look up that bad.

Ds2 benefits from getting space so going to his room to get away until he calms down. Encourage him to talk about his feelings. Its ok to get cross but not to lash out (tho have told ds2 he can go outside and scream or punch a pillow if he feels frustrated) but talk, acknowledge and recognise feelings.

Thanks '5madthings'. I've just ordered a book which should help us deal with the problem.
Good night all :)