So what format did you use for your 'facts of life' talk then?

[ghosty]

Had the big question today ...

DS asked me if I wanted another baby and if not why not ...
Smiling to myself about Suzy's thread about stealth babies I told him very honestly that although the thought of another baby is nice, it just wasn't practical at the moment, what with moving to Australia and all, and by the time that was sorted DD would be over 3 and that would mean 4 years between him and DD and possibly another 4 years between DD and a baby ... So basically, no, I didn't think that having another baby would be a good idea.
So ... then it came, the big question:
"So, mummy, how DO you get a baby? Do you wish really hard and Santa hears you?" (bless bless bless him ....
I was saved by answering exactly at that moment as I had just switched off the car and was jumping out to pick up DD ... I know, I know it was a cop out ...
But I did say, "Not exactly ... Mummies and Daddies make babies. We do need to talk about this and I will tell you how babies are made but I just need to get your sister ... we'll talk when I get back"
I was frantically practising what to say in my head when I went to get DD but by the time I got back to the car DS was busy practising his UnderArm Farts (long and short ones) so I chickened out and didn't mention it again ....

So ... what did you say to your child ... I want EXACT scripts please (ha ha ) ...
I feel that if I suddenly started talking about Penises and Vaginas he would think I was barking ... he knows the correct terminology but we use 'willy' and 'nunney' ...

He knows babies come from mummy's tummies and he knows they come out of the mummy's nunney (awful word, sorry) or, as in his case, a doctor has to cut the mummy open if the baby is too big to come out ...
He knows about wombs ... we had our cat spayed and he wanted to know what that meant ...
He knows about periods, sort of ... because he asked me what my tampons were ...

We just haven't tackled the nitty gritty yet and I feel a bit scared ... want to be prepared ....

I know I am very silly .... Want to keep his innocence .... but don't want some prat in the playground telling him ...

I'll shut up now ...

He is 6 and a half ...

Sorry for length ...

TIA

g xxx

Will be watching this with interest as I thought we were heading for the conversation this morning with DD (also 6.5)!

She started asking what she looked like and smelled like (!?) when she was born. Then went on to silly, jokey things like "If you had eaten baby clothes when you were pregnant I would have come out wearing them!" .

I had that moment of "ooh no, where is this conversation going?"

Well, my mum told us when we were tiny, as soon as we asked. With full scientific terminology and diagrams. Seriously, our childminder was reallly taken aback when I apparently asked her 'Linda, how do you draw a vagina, I've forgotten?'. Worked for us, never became a big issue and was never confused by playground rumours. Just very matter of fact, that's how it works.

Ds (nearly three) wanted to know 'what's that' (his testicles). So I expalained as simply as I could. He's spent the last week going round proudly telling everyone about his tentacles!

I've used the lady has an egg and man has seed line.

They were happy with that.

(Didn't know you were moving to OZ, will you be suzy's neighbour?....it's not that big over there, is it??)

edam, lol at your son and his tentacles!!!

Thanks for speedy responses ...

(LTH ... Suzy doesn't know yet but we are moving right next door ... no, DH has been offered a job in Melbourne so not exactly final yet but if the right package is offered we'll take it ... )

LOL at 'tentacles'

So far we have been totally honest with DS about things he has asked and have answered him using age appropriate language ...
He knows that babies come from an egg that the mum has and when he was 3 or 4 he asked about how it started to grow into a baby and all I could come up with was that the Daddy made it grow by giving the mummy a special cuddle . He asked if we could show him PMSL ... which earned him a bowl of ice cream as a distraction .
I have to tell him what the special cuddle is now though ... and want to be as matter of fact as possible without doing his head in with detail.

I've got The Body Book by Claire Rayner (I think it's out of print now, but it's something I had as a child which I've given to the kids). It's all about a whole range of things about how the body works (what a skeleton does, what happens to the food you eat, etc) so doesn't elevate sex and procreation above everything else, which I quite like.

It talks about a special kind of cuddle grownups have when they want to make a baby. It does mention about the penis standing to attention and about the seed (called sperm) and the egg joining together, so not completely euphamistic. It also explains how the baby gets out with an appropriate diagram (although the woman looks quite unflustered, lol).

What I liked about it though was the emphasis one where you came from. How you're part mummy and part daddy - and also have parts that look like grandparents, great grandparents etc. How you grow and how one day you'll be a grown up, and one day might be a grandparent. All very matter of fact.

Oh, I like the sound of that book GeorginaA ... is it really out of print? Is there anything similar?
He has had 'Mummy laid an egg' from the library when DD was born but it was over his head really and tbh, although i thought it an excellent book to let him read AFTER the facts ... I think it may be a bit silly for expaining the facts IYSWIM?

Ah... I've just found it on amazon, thought it was out of print! Seems they've revised it too (so I might get a newer copy).

\link{http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0590556088/qid=1149422281/sr=8-1/ref=pd_ka_1/203-9417476-4807166\The Body Book}

(well, when I say revised... it's a 1994 edition rather than my 1979 edition!!)

I used the daddy plants a seed in the mummy's tummy line and then recently when asked how it gets there (about a year after the original conversation) said that the daddy puts his willy inside the ladies ninkie (the words they have picked up from school for their bits) and letting his seeds fill the mummy's tummy up. One special seed, sometimes 2 (we have friens with twins) meet with the mummy's egg and grow to make a baby.

They already know about where babies come from etc. In fact my DD (almost 8) is addicted to discovery health giving birth programs - so she's seen more births that she's had hot dinners I think!

I've also bought a few books which are dotted around the house that they can pick up and browse when they feel like it. DD has read some of them but they are too complex for DS but he does like looking at the pictures

To give you an idea it has the following chapters:

In and Out (all about food, digestion and the five year old's favourite - POO!)
Breathing and Talking
Beating and Bleeding (what the heart, veins and arteries do)
Running, Jumping and Standing Still (skeleton, muscles etc)
Tasting, Smelling, Seeing, Hearing and Touching
Thinking and Feeling
Skin, Hair and Nails
Growing and Changing and Making New People (covers pubity, sex and procreation)
Growing Old and Dying (great chapter on why people die and what happens)

DS, age 6, had been planting seeds at school. We had "the talk" at around the same time, but stopped short when it came to explaining the actual act. So he asked "...how do you get the seed in the mummy's tiny hole, do you have to tip her upside-down?".

When DS1 started asking the questions, I bought a book called Let's Talk About Sex (see \link{http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/1844281744/026-3351777-1708426\here}). I would point him in the direction of a particular chapter (depending on what particular question he was asking), tell him to read it and then ask me any questions afterwards (although I think he may have been slightly older than your DS as he was capable of reading and understanding it which I don't think he would have done at age 6).

I still use the book today. Recently we have been dealing with wet dreams and ejaculations (DS1 is now 12 so lots of things happening to his body).

It's written very well and things are explained in language very accessible to youngsters and pre-teens. There are user-friendly diagrams and children can learn about what happens to both sexes at certain times of their lives (something which I feel is important here as the only female in the house is me and I'm not doing demonstrations!).

A good friend of mine has just had no.3. Her dd aged 4 asked the inevitable a few weeks ago. Friend duly explained that daddy gave mummy a seed which will grow into a baby in her tummy.
" How did it get the seed get there mummy, did you swallow it?"!! Friend told dd that that was not quite how it worked and promised to go into more depth at a later stage. Think I'll tell her about some of these books!

I have a few pregnant friends, (one gave birth 3 days ago, rest due very soon) and we have had a few brief discussions about babies in bellies.

Then, a few weeks ago, in a huge queue in a shop, dd (3) piped up...but mum, i was thinking...how do babies get in there? And do they have toys? And how do they get the milk from their mummys boobs? Queue lots of embarrassed looking men and sympathetic looks from nearby mums... Hadnt planned on that for another few years, and just said the mum and dad hug very tight in a special way and a magic love seed goes into the mummys belly, and grows..cant remember what else I said, but could feel my cheeks burning for ages, even after leaving the shop!

two fantastic books 'mummy laid an egg' and 'hair in funny places' by Babette Cole were my start for the facts of life talk. Really funny and child friendly.

my cousin has just been through this with her son. she just said when 2 people love each other very much they do a special sort of dance where the man's willy goes into the ladies vagina because it makes them feel happy. Because the man is so happy his willy stands up and releases something called sperm. Sometimes the sperm meets the egg inside the lady and a baby is made.

The Body Book is great

dd1 and 2 in stitches eveyr time over the 'fart' picture

Am feeling v embarrassed because when my DD said a year or 2 ago 'So how did DS get into your tummy - was it magic?', I'm afraid I agreed that yes, it was indeed magic. I think we'd done the seed and egg thing, and she knew how babies come out, but I just couldn't work out how to tell her the mechanics of it. Now that she's 6 I think I'll have to be ready for it when it comes up (so to speak).

DD1 started asking how the baby in my tummy was going to get out (she was just around 4 at the time. It seemed pointless to fudge so we just said it came out of mummy's front bottom. When her sister was born (coincidentally in Melbourne, ghosty!), we showed her the birth pictures my doula had taken. She was very matter of fact and her only response was 'did you say ouch mummy'. Couple of days later we got the 'but how did the baby get in your tummy' and I took my cue from that really and thought I might as well explain it along the lines of daddy's willy and mummy's front bottom. And she didn't ask again. She may well have forgotten and no doubt it will come up again. It helped showing her the pregnancy scan pics (of herself as well as her sister) and the birth photos cause she didn't then get fixated on the conception bit and we made it into a bit of a story (then this happened, and then you were born, etc)