2 month old wont sleep anywhere but on my chest! Help please

[MissyMoo55]

My dd has always been a higher needs baby since birth, we were never able from day one to put her down either when awake to settle to sleep herself nor asleep as she would startle awake immediately.

We have tried so many tricks- the swing, using a hot water bottle to warm her Moses basket a bit, putting one of my shirts down so it will smell of me, a white noise teddy bear etc. the best we can get is sometimes 10 minutes of fitful sleep if not being held.

I'm all for cuddling her as she's still little but at night I sleep upright in bed with a neck pillow with her on my chest and it is so uncomfortable and lately it seems like dd is sleeping worse than even usual. She tosses her head and kicks her legs, fidgeting constantly so I don't sleep but instead have to jiggle and shush her to keep her asleep. I wouldn't even mind basic cosleeping but she won't even go on the bed next to me unless she is feeding/sucking at the breast and doesn't release and roll over like most babies would.

Any suggestions of how I can encourage her to sleep next to me on the bed without my nipple having to be in her mouth the entire time or even in her Moses basket? I'm not willing to let her cry to sleep buy really struggling for ideas and 2 months of 2 hours of broken awful sleep is starting to really drag me down!

Can't answer now but has she been checked for tongue tie? My DS was exactly the same, its shattering isn't it? He turned out to have tt.

*Have you tried her on her side or on her tummy? (I know, controversial!) Or got a swaddle pod? My daughter was (still is) a bad sleeper but I only started getting decent sleep stretches once I put her on her tummy. I discovered she preferred this when she was a month old as I woke in the night with raging mastitis and kept being sick so couldn't hold her. I finally gave in at 4 months. She has always had good head control though.

Just bare in mind missy that if you do follow kritur's advice it will increase the risk of SIDS. I would be more tempted to find out why she is like this.

Did you have the chance to look at the tongue tie information? Have you read the Fussy Baby Book too?

Does she have symptoms of reflux or silent reflux?

My DD was exactly like this and after two DS's who were fine in their Moses basket it was a bit of a shock! To be honest I was so tired I went down the path of least resistance route and just let her mainly sleep on me.

Then I started to put her to bed in her cot in her own room at about 10 weeks and this at least gave me an evening and she would normally stay in her cot, apart from feeds until about 3am when she would refuse to be put down and I'd sleep with her until morning.

Anyway long story short it gradually got better and once she was on solids and I was confident she was getting enough food (7mo) then she started to sleep through with a bit of shush patting.

I know that seems like a mile off but I guess I just wanted to post to say sometimes they just need to get a bit older and it will improve and that anything you do now is not creating rods for backs as some people might imply!

It is so exhausting but hopefully providing nothing is medically wrong with your child they will get better at sleeping with age.

OP, I could have written ur post. My DD is exactly like this and just 2 weeks younger than yours.

We've tried everything you've mentioned and just don't know what to do now thinking of trying the hammock style cot but tbh not expecting it to work wonders. Buying a sling for daytime but my back is already so sore since birth!

At the moment the only routine we've managed with her is bath time, massage and lights off, I'm really hoping this will help her. I do hope it's a start.

OP, I really feel for you. I hope you are getting support from your DP as it is completely draining, I'm shattered!

My 6 weeks old rolls herself to the side and recently on her tummy. 1st time I saw her I freaked out but she is always right next to me in bed. She only settles to sleep on my tummy mainly.

OP, have u tried leaving her on her side right next to you (like when she is feeding when both of you are lying down?). My DD sleeps like that sometimes. Literally my nipple hanging next to her mouth/face.

Mine did this - both had silent reflux, one had tongue tie. The only time dd (who was worse) ever slept more than 20 mins not on me or in the cot before the age of 4/5 months was when I put her on her tummy. I was too worried though to leave her. so she slept on her left hand side next to me in bed. I read a lot into it (as I put my first on his left hand side) which said that side sleeping increases the SIDS risk but not as much as tummy sleeping.
When I put ds on his back he used to stop breathing briefly so side sleeping was the better option for me.

I put them on their tummies from 5/6 months and that was a turning point (despite having reflux medication). They were both strong babies - lifting heads from birth (I did tummy time from day one). In fact I remember dd wouldn't settle in hospital after I'd given birth unless she was on her tummy. I took my first shower after having her, with her wheeled into the bathroom and me just watching her to make sure she was breathing!!!

Did anyone try cranial osteopathy? Did it help?

Yes and no it didn't (as I expected - but I was desperate). The CO even admitted that babies might outgrow their problems and coincides with when they see an osteopath. Although dd did fall asleep for the first time in the car after the appointment - but that was probably because she was exhausted as she was past her nap by the time it was done!

Sorry for taking so long getting back here, when you can't put your baby down free time is seriously non existent!!

Well last nights sleep was awful again. I gave her a bath, a little massage then read a book and fed her ready for bed. She slept less than 2 hours then was fidgeting and kicking already :( I was too tired to deal with it properly so I laid Down and side fed her while I dozed. She suckled the entire time, no falling asleep properly at all and was hitting and kicking me etc during the feed and would cry if she nodded off and the nipple fell out if her mouth :(

So today I tried swaddling her in her miracle swaddle blanket and waiting 15 minutes after she was asleep to move her. First I tired the Moses basket with loud white noise and she was up and crying in 2 mins (literally)

So I spent 30 minutes putting her back to sleep then moved to the bed hoping I could keep her close to my side and we could both nap. Nope! She woke up the second my arm came out from under her. SO frustrating!!!!!!!

I don't know what to do I am really at my wits end. She is on Zantac for suspected silent reflux and I'm not 100% sure but HV said she doesn't think it's a tongue tie. I am not comfortable letting her sleep on her front as id be nervous and have to watch her anyway which would defeat the point.

I am so exhausted and my husband works a split shift so he has had to move to the sofa to get enough sleep to be safe at work so it's just me all night and most of the day. I'm trying to keep my attitude up about it but I would give almost anything for 10 minutes with my hands free to take a shower!!

Do you know what dose of Ranitidine she is on? There are 3 dosing levels. If she is on the max dose for her weight, there are other meds available but you would probably need a paediatric referral.

She will only sleep in her bouncer or swing for 15 minutes max no matter what. Even with the vibration ect. I think she has a real problem transitioning from light REM sleep to deep sleep hence why she wakes up so easily/frequently?

And she's already had a peadiatric referral for slow weight gain a few weeks back so im sure we could get the ranitidine changed if needs be but I'm not even 100% sure it is reflux? Ped consult wasn't 100% sold on reflux either an offered meds to just see if there was an effect.

I guess my biggest frustration is that she was doing really well sleeping about 4 hours for the first stretch at night then eating at 1-2am then back down to feed again at 4-5 am then down until 7:30-8:30 but now the last 3 nights she's been SO INCREDIBLY fidgety and waking every hour or so rooting for the boob it's been hard to have the energy to keep up with all the daytime demands. I feel like having her lying on my chest is a biological feeding position so it stimulates her, but the catch 22 is she won't sleep anywhere else so I'm kinds stuck!

Hi,
My baby was just like you describe, I was exhausted as she fell sound asleep on me, then jolted awake the second I put her down...I was up until 5am some nights only for her to wake at half past! There were times I fell asleep holding her and I got really worried I'd drop her in my sleep.

I noticed she kept throwing her arms out and hitting the basket sides, so I moved her into her cot bed at 7 weeks. I also put a clear routine of bath, massage, feed, cuddle, bed. The bath calmed her down n made her sleepy, she fed until asleep then when she threw her arms out she didn't hit anything in her cot bed! I was able to catch them and gently lay then down before she woke up. The first night she slept for 5 hrs, dream fed then slept again. Within a week I had my evenings back (mostly) and a chunk of sleep...

My only hiccup was she wriggled so much in her sleep that twice I went in to find her head almost at the rails. I made the controversial decision to mover her to the top of the bed and use a baby bumper. This is not recommended but it works for me.

My little wriggler is now 18wks and it is the best decision I made to move her...hope you find something that works for you!

She might be overtired. Ditch the long drawn out bedtime routine. Little babies get tired very very quickly and overstimulated very very easily.
I remember my dd surprising me as I'd forgotten it with ds. If she was awake for more than 45 mins for one part of the day, even if she had naps, she would be so so unsettled by the evening and do as your baby does.

Try carrying her in a sling all day for a few days, only taking her out for feeds and nappy changes. Then settle for bed with just a feed - no bath, no stories etc. just a feed. After a few nights you might see some improvement. The reason for carrying in a sling is so that she can sleep whenever she needs to. Best thing is for you to get out and about with her in sling.

This is why I think subsequent babies are usually - not always - but usually better sleepers and more settled (unless health issue like reflux), simply because they're left to it and there's no time to do anything other than feed.

My dd is the same - we started sleeping with her on my chest at night after I found it impossible to put her down in her basket after the 2am feeds. She started sleeping for longer stretches once we did this and now at 15 weeks regularly sleeps for 8+ hours. She has also, of her own volition, started rolling off me to sleep on her side some nights. It's not ideal but it works for us and means we both get some sleep.

She also used to do the same during the day and I would put her in her carrier (she hated the sling!) so that she would sleep and I get on with things but for the past two weeks has been quite happy to sleep in her pram so progress of a sort!

Re showers - I put her in her bouncy chair and take her with me as showering when she's asleep wouldn't work!

Anyway in a very long winded way what I'm trying to say is OP perhaps your dc is not ready to be independent yet? If you go to the Sleep board there's a long discussion around co-sleeping which might help, if only to reassure you that you're not alone!

Hi, my little one was like this when he was newborn. After two weeks I ended up rolling two blankets and putting them either side of him in his moses basket and putting him slightly on his side. I also laid a t-shirt in it that I had slept in and after a couple of days he started sleeping for 2-3 hours. I think that the blankets helped him think he was safe and the t-shirt gave him some comfort. It might be worth a try?!
Hope that you and your little one get some good sleep soon :)

When DS1 was small I read about a method which I tried - start by sleeping them on you as normal, then try to get them used to sleeping on your lap but on a pillow or something between you. This may take a while but persevere. Then when he is happy with that try putting the pillow next to you or just a bit off you, repeat with getting the pillow further away, going slowly over days/weeks. Work up to getting him in the moses basket or cot with you sat next to it.

When DS2 was born he wouldn't sleep well because he startled all the time. It was summer and I couldn't swaddle him so I put him on his front. I knew the risks and was very careful but he slept brilliantly from then on. He was always a very big baby with excellent head control. I completely appreciate that this is against all advice. He still sleeps on his front and is now one.

OP it sounds very hard, sleep deprivation is awful. Have you got any family or friends nearby who could come round and let you get some sleep in the day?

OP, how is it going? My LO has improved but still wants to be held alot and some day time naps she wants on the chest. The cranial osteopath said her head was compressed during birth and that's why she is so unsettled.

My DD was exactly the same and at around 8wks I brought an amby natures nest hammock, it saved my sanity!

Does your DD like motion? Mine does and she seemed to like the constant gentle movement of the hammock. I placed the hammock right next to my bed so when she woke I could 'bounce' the hammock with one hand to get her back off to sleep.

To get her to sleep we used a combination of bouncing the hammock and white noise (usually the hair dryer but now there are lots of apps/CDs you can buy) for the most part this worked. She slept in the hammock till she was around 9months.

Good luck op hope you get some sleep soon! If nothing else you are not alone, I felt like mine was the only baby who wouldn't sleep but after coming on mumsnet I realised that was not the case!

Ohcrapwhathaveidone, I'm thinking of buying the hammock. Where did you buy yours from? Do you know anywhere that does a second hand one?

I actually brought mine from eBay I think it ended up costing me around £60 with postage. It was worth every penny! There are usually a few on there. You can also get them new on amazon for £170.

You can easily pick up new sheets for it on eBay or amazon too.

Good luck