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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

tidy bedrooms..is your child's well kept?

15 replies

lavender1 · 05/02/2004 16:06

have started this new thread because I wonder if there is anyone else who has an unco-operative 8 1/2 plus, year old..

ds is 8 and 1/2 and used to be quite tidy, now he is suddenly becoming really uncooperative with things like homework, tidying up and making noises at me in the morning and showing his bottom to his sister and me. He'll grow up into a normal man then ! Have to laugh because don't know what else to think of, have tried taking pocket money away, tv off etc and he just laughs at dh and I...we are trying to be patient with him ....we have thought about letting him live in a pigsty but it's not nice, am quite a tidy person myself...lol because I guess it's just young boys..please someone tell me it's normal...(btw his sister's room is mess too)....maybe working 5 days a week sometimes doesn't help...

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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Janstar · 05/02/2004 16:11

dd1 (14) keeps her room like a bomb site. Nothing I can say seems to make any difference. dd2 (11) is fastidiously tidy and her room is always perfect.

Maybe they are just different personalities?

Original poster

lavender1 · 05/02/2004 16:14

Thanks Janstar, now won't keep asking him too know it's normal(just want to hoover it now and then...he'll have to I think)

OP posts:

easy · 05/02/2004 16:26

Lavender,
Having seen your other thread about your dh, and his behaviour to you and your children, I'd be surprised if you didn't start to have some behavioural problems from your children. your son has a very bad example in his life right now, expect more fireworks

Original poster

lavender1 · 05/02/2004 16:29

thanks easy, honest and open response

OP posts:

Original poster

lavender1 · 05/02/2004 16:31

meant to say, not very reassuring but an honest reponse

OP posts:

easy · 05/02/2004 16:42

sorry love, I'm a hard hearted bitch aren't I?

Original poster

lavender1 · 05/02/2004 16:49

yes you are you cow...........nooooo, joking it's just that you're right and am not coping with working 5 days a week (day off I could sort things out better)and black bin liners too

OP posts:

StressyHead · 05/02/2004 17:13

message withdrawn

mrsforgetful · 05/02/2004 20:50

The only 'help' i can suggest is what i ended up doing... a large plastic toy box which he has to 'at least' put all the 'odds and ends' into...ideally still put away the 'easy'things where they should go ....but from watching my 3 boys i notice that if it's things which they have to spend ages putting away...they just won't co-operate without me overseeing (in which case it's easier to do it myself- not the point)- so if he is able to pick things up fast-and 'dump' them in a single box then you could empty it out weekly and 'guide' him where it goes- or let him'suffer' when he can't find what he needs....but at least you can say 'it's in the box'
I've 'developed this alot over the years and it's saved me crawling under tables picking up bits of lego etc....they do that bit and put it 'in the box' then i sort the bits into the relevant toy boxes in the toy corner.

i only have boys...but not one is 'naturally' tidy so i have lots of labled boxes so they know where things should go....but i usually have to tidy after them....but the important thing is that they are helping.

nutcracker · 05/02/2004 20:56

My dd's are 6 and 4 and share a room, which is constantly a tip. I have given up on it, as i just can't get them to tidy it properly and i'm sick of doing it.

Jollymum · 05/02/2004 21:10

I have four kids and we have a "use it or lose it" box at the bottom of the stairs. As I work from home, it is important that the hallway is reasonably clean and tidy. I nag continually at the kids about their rooms and have done the old "well, this is the VERY LAST time I help you/blitz your room!" but they just laugh at me. So now, my DD (who used to be the light of my male dominated life) has turned EVIL. Two weeks ago, I asked her to tidy her room. She still hasn't done it, it smells and to my knowledge, she is running out of clean pants and socks because she can't be bothered to clean up. I draw the line at picking washing up, even my Dh has learnt the hard way that dirty socks etc do NOT get dragged into the washing basket by me 'cos it's disgusting! The "use it or lose it" works really well! Every Saturday morning, when we're all slopping around in our PJ's, I yell those famous words and literally chuck the stuff out of the box and up the stairs to waiting children. If you're very lucky you can clip a little ear with that ... piece of lego that you trod on during the week (not really that agressive!) but the kids love it and you can get rid of all that pent up agression on that ....teddy!

mrsforgetful · 05/02/2004 21:24

I reckon i will name our box after yours....'USE IT OR LOSE IT' Perfect!!!

Lara2 · 06/02/2004 19:31

Must admit, I'm honestly never that bothered about their room. It's their space and they know about being tidy from having to cart all their stuff away from the rest of the house at the end of the day. I change the bedding and dust and hoover what I can reach - they're not dead yet! I remember when I was a teenager, my mum opening my door and hoovering the 6 inches of floor available and leaving! I have more things to worry about without adding the tidy your room nag to the list I'm afraid.

tigermoth · 07/02/2004 09:06

I'm a coward and a slob - I bypass this battle. My two sons share a room. I'm the one who cleans it, when I can be bothered. I do some daily light tidying and fluff up the duvets most days and that's it. I hardly never ask my sons to tidy their room. The 4 year old wouldn't have a clue what to do and the 9 year old, not being toy mad, rarely makes a huge mess up there. I think some children generate more mess than others. My 4 year old will tip out tubs of lego and arrange little cars and trains all over the place. Just my luck he is too young (IMO) to put them all back efficiently and quickly each time. I do get him to help me put things away and give him small tidy up tasks - ie take your teddy upstairs to your room. The smaller the task the more easy my boys do it - even if one small task is followed by another and another and another.

Most tidying gets done just before we go out - I say we won't go till the place looks tidy, so they have a target to aim for. But tidy targets in this house for us all are very low

helenmc · 07/02/2004 09:54

when i was little we were lucky to have a separate play room, and twice a year my parents would clear and clean it.And I remember my mum dragging the dustbin inside the house and sweeping everything that was on our large kitchen table into it. So 30 years later I'm doing the same with my dds (except its their bedrooms) and basically I hate tidying. We had tears last week, as little dds said 'we have too many toys and i don't know how to tidy up' . She'd shoved all her toys under her bed and there was still stuff on the floor. I think the binge approach doesn't work. I'm going to try the little and often and teach them how to tidy up, and do a little a day. We now have labelled boxes (helps that dds can read), and we've had 3 bays to go to the charity shop. And I know people have mixed reactions to flylady but I'm going to try the 15 mins apporach. ASk me in a couple of months if it works

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