This is a full-on rant and pretty long but I am just at my wits end.
I know my elder daughter is away with the fairies : she's very creative and imaginative, and has always focused on talking and drawing, both of which she excels at. Her motor skills are, frankly, embarrassingly bad (both ballet and gymnastics classes resulted in the teachers explaining that she is EXTREMELY clumsy and unlikely to progress at all) and 2 trips to A&E (stitches to chin, re-glued head) confirm in my mind that she's, frankly, a klutz. But that's ok, she's good at some stuff and bad at others, like most people. If she's crap at ballet but still enjoys going, then I am happy.
But I am starting to wonder if her lack of improvement in those classes was more down to her inability, or unwillingness, to listen to another person. She is almost willfully incapable of copying someone or following simple instruction, and since school starts in a couple of months, I am really, really starting to worry.
For instance, in her gym class on day one the instructor said "ok, everybody windmill your arms like this" and 15 kids do exactly what she says - even the new kids - but my DD just sticks her arm up with a weird expression on her face and starts talking to the instructor. Hopping on one leg was a total disaster. It's not that she fell over, it's just that when the instructor says "look at me do it" or "copy me" or even looks at ALL THE OTHER KIDS doing it, she gets distracted and starts running around and seems to be unable to copy when shown, or maybe unwilling.
She seems incapable of listening to another person WHEN that person is trying to explain HOW to do something. Even something she wants to know how to do. If it was just her being expressive and individualistic, I wouldn't begrudge her that. I would in fact be secretly extremely pleased that she's independent and strong willed and not just a sheep. But I still want her to learn the fucking alphabet!
I am trying to teach her the alphabet, but she just won't listen. She gets the same part wrong every single time, and won't listen when I correct her. L, M, N, O, P becomes "yemma-yemma-pee" because she won't listen or remember that sequence, or seems to be deliberately refusing to. She can say all the letters, she can repeat that sequence when I ask her to repeat it after me. She can count forever, so it's not a question of not listening or being able to remember. She has an incredible memory for some things, but she just will not copy other people. When I say "copy me" I may as well just be emitting white noise. She glazes over.
Another example, when she asks me to show her how to write a letter, I show her but her attempt to copy it make it seem like she wasn't listening. She wanted to draw an "e" so I showed her where to start the letter, but over 20 or 30 tries she just would not copy me. She always starts the letter "e" at the bottom of the tail and then tries to work backwards and ends up losing her way. Why won't she listen? I try drawing it WITH her but she resists. Her hand physically resists being shown the correct way, and then she gets frustrated and I tell her I'm not going to show her if she doesn't want to learn and then she flounces off.
She is obsessed with putting on her own shoes, but they are ALWAYS on the wrong foot. And I mean 100% of the time. She can say "finished" and without looking I can say "wrong feet" and I'll be right. I have shown her HOW to tell which foot for which shoe, but again - doesn't listen, doesn't want to learn, but becomes frustrated when she gets it wrong. She can specifically ask how to do something, but cannot copy.
The same goes for when I am telling her NOT to do something. Her current fetish involves playing with the bloody living room door and I think I am going to pop a blood vessel. Her sister is 20 months and the 4 year old seems to think slamming doors in her face or playing "peek a boo" by opening and closing the door is fine. She goes up to the bathroom for a wee and insists on slamming the door in the baby's face. I can just imagine a couple of little fingers landing on the floor with a soft splat. But I can literally be standing there shouting "LEAVE THE DOOR ALONE, DO NOT TOUCH THE DOOR" and she is looking right at me, and still closing the door. ANd she will do the same exact thing next time. She gets a total bollocking every single time, so why isn't it sinking in?
The thing today that tipped the balance was when she asked me to teach her a knock knock joke.
I said ok, just copy me alright?
Me: Knock knock
DD: Who's there?
Me: Interrupting cow
DD: Interrupti----
Me: MOOOOOO
She loved the joke, and wanted to tell it back to me. I explained how.
DD:Knock Knock.
Me:Who's there?
DD:Interrupting cow.
Me:Interrupting cow who?.....ok, you need to moooo the moment I start saying "interrupting cow who?" alright?
DD: OK.
Repeat that exact conversation for 10 minutes. She is asking me what to say, I am showing her in extremely simple terms what to do, I even tried the old "I will wave a hand and you moo" thing but she just won't do it. The moment you start explaining something, she glazes over and stops listening.
What the hell am I doing wrong? And what on Earth is she going to be like at school?