2.1 yo DD really doesn't like Daddy anymore

[Biggem]

hi, I hope you can help. For the past 6ish months our DD has been getting progressively less and less fond of her daddy - ignoring him when he comes home from work, moving away from him if he tries to sit next to her. I know it's quite common behaviour at this age to develop a preference to a parent but it's really getting my husband down and starting to effect our relationship as I'm sure he thinks I'm doing something to instigate it.
We've tried telling her that Daddy is doing it not Mummy and she gets hysterical.
Please does anyone have any help / shared experience?!

Just ignore it and act normally, you be pleased to see Daddy and don't push her. Make sure he still does things with and for her but don't make a big deal but telling her, just get on.

It is just a phase, my Son has just come out the other side at 2 and 4mths. It's hurtful but they don't mean it, so he needs to just act normal.

Thanks, I have told him this and tried to act like it but by doing this he thinks I am encouraging her behaviour .
how long did your lo keep this up and was it only while you were physically there?

Um probably on and off for 6-8 months. It's doesn't help that Daddy comes home at nearly bed time and only home 1 day a week. Then he'd have a few days off and my son would get close to him and be disappointed when he goes back to work.

now he is excited when Daddy gets home, and does not want me to interfere (once when we were talking my son lead me out of the room and said stay there lol) or for Daddy & me to have a conversation.

18months plus is a tough stage for them as they are becoming more independent and learning to communicate which can be frustrating for them. This is a common time for toddlers to become clingy, to comfort toys and /or parents.

My friends little girl is a Daddy's girl and although obviously loves Mummy, as soon as she's upset or Daddy is home that's all the little girl wants.

I did start leaving Daddy to it when he got home from work, so Daddy would come in happy and expressing his excitement to see son (even if ignored), unload and then sit down and play with my Son- while I went off and done chores or got bed time ready, therefore my Son had to engage.

My DD did this, at roughly the same age as your DD. I don't remember how long it lasted for, but it wasn't long.

DH went on a real charm offensive which may have helped. I can't believe I'm about to post this on a public forum, but one of his more popular moves was, on arriving home, he would drop to his hands and knees and give 'pony rides' around the living room. DS (who is 18 months older than DD) would generally hop on for the first ride then I would take the next one No big deal was made of whether DD did or didn't want to. Eventually she decided to join in. I'm not suggesting your DH does the same, but try and encourage him to stay upbeat and 'fun' and not pay too much attention to whether she joins in or not.

I apologise for the mental imagery you have just been subjected to

Oh God, we had that, it was horrible, mainly because my husband reacted badly. I decided to ignore them both and let them get on with it. Also, I decided to stop going to her lessons, I let him do it, which would put them both in a fowl mood for the entire weekend. Then I upped the game by sending them both to the supermarket. Then the problem was gone.
I had the whole accusations and nastiness, you're encouraging her etc, I did nothing of the sort, it's just something they do at some point.

thanks so much everyone!! very reassuring to know.
as for the pony rides...I mighy actually insist on them phahaha

We're having this at the moment with DS, it's a bit difficult for DH and I. DS is a bit older though (nearly 3).

Were also a bit older, but have had similar - even vocolised "Daddy, go back to work" or "Daddy, got back to teh hotel" (DH was working away most weeks at that point)

We did similar to Dili - I would just go and do jobs upstairs (so the stair gate meant they couldn't join me), or going out to exercise classes etc. DH also took them out to the park or other fun things on his own. They are much better now, but still have favourite Mummy when tired or ill.

Great, thanks next .

My DD is a daddy's girl and did this to me for a while. It is horrible when your LO pushes you away. It broke my heart for a few days until I decided the only behaviour I could change was mine. I now try to focus more on her as I realised I would leave DH doing fun stuff while I got the chores done. So now I delegate/leave things until later and have some games that only I play with her.

I also am a bit firmer with her than DH, but I haven't changed that. I figure at least one of us needs to be firm!

It took about a month for things to turn around and now she is coming to me even when DH is on the room. She does get very peeved if he gives me a hug though and pries me off him! I can live with that though!

DS (25 months) would rather be with his father, who rarely says no and is the key to endless excitement (stationary engines, tractors, man stuff )

Me, Im the one who makes him brush his teeth and help put the washing out, who wont let him watch back to back Octonauts on You Tube and makes him sit on the potty, I dont mind, if he falls over or is hurt then he wants his mamma and dp is no good at all .

DS (now 4) did this when younger. I remember once he said to DP "Daddy I don't like you. I don't like you at all". He was really young. DP said he was torn between being crushed at the meaning but actually really impressed at the sentence formation

It's (mostly) in the past now. I did used to ignore it, but then decided I shouldn't have, I changed my tack after deciding I needed to stand up for his dad more, and try to explain that he has feelings too.

In retrospect, what changed was he grew out of it I think.