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10 year old ds refusing to go to bed & being disruptive.. help please!

5 replies

kipperthedog · 24/06/2013 22:27

Hello

My 10 year old ds who has always been a good sleeper has suddenly started refusing point blank to go to bed. When he does go he makes loads of noise, banging things & shouting to try & wake his sisters up & coming out of his room. I've tried various approaches but nothing is working & as a single Mum I am finding it very stressful.
He goes to bed at 8.30-8.45.
Any advice gratefully received please!

Thanks :)

OP posts:
DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 25/06/2013 00:25

Hi, is your DS the eldest or youngest? Wondering if his sisters share a room and for whatever reason he feels left out at present.

Does he feel robbed of playtime because it's still light?

Has he recently watched anything scary involving creatures emerging at night? This could have been at home or out of your house round a friend's especially where there are older siblings watching something. The extra noise could be him scaring mosters or ghosts away.

Is he in his last year of Primary School? Could he be aware that his days at his old school are ending and next term he'll start at the bigger school, maybe he is feeling anxious so the bedtime antics are bravado?

Maddening as it is when you want them all off to bed so you can sit down for 5 minutes, maybe you could chat with him, give him a hug. It might feel a bit phoney, but ask him about his day or 3 best things that happened/made everyone laugh.

When my DCs were little they felt reassured if I pottered about in their room or they could hear me cross the landing and into other bedrooms. Doing some chore like folding washing or distributing clean clothes, or whatever; added to which I'd say something like, "Lie down and I'll be along in a minute", then do so. Next time it might be, "I'll be back in two minutes", stick to your word, look in on them. Increase the gaps between dropping in.

Sorry if these ideas are rubbish, just some random thoughts.

kipperthedog · 25/06/2013 09:48

Hi, thanks for your reply. Those ideas aren't rubbish at all! He is the oldest yes & his sisters share a room. He hasn't watched anything scary but perhaps the light nights could be part of it. He's got another year at primary so don't think it's that. When he does it it's like he's a different person & there's no reasoning with him at all, I've tried talking to him about it but he says he doesn't know why. I imagine it's for attention for some reason...?

OP posts:
DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 25/06/2013 09:59

I just found my two reacted occasionally to some outside stimulus like a tv programme or some half-understood news item or overheard discussion. Is he very protective of you, is he checking obliquely that you're in the house or safe? Maybe his bluster and noise is about outdoing his sisters, winning your attention? Have they had extra attention lately, even some medical issue?

PS Kipper was a great favourite in our house! Smile

FrauMoose · 25/06/2013 10:04

How about a story CD that he can listen to for a while - till it gets dark. It might be soothing and ease the transition into sleep.

BoffinMum · 25/06/2013 10:07

Tell him you will let him stay up as long as he feels he needs to for one week as an experiment, as long as he goes to bed quietly afterwards. It may be he doesn't need the sleep any longer, or he may just need a bit of older kid treatment. Then review it with him after a week and ask him how he felt on it. Caveat - sitting room should become adult space after 9pm with your choice TV and so on, he can sit in there with you or choose to go quietly to his room Wink

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