Meal time hell - 14 m ds won't stop

[Thaleia]

Hi,
We have a food monster, he just won't stop eating. Having meal times together is basically impossible or we all need to finish at the same time and with no lingering at the table.
He is on the 9th for height and 91th for weight.
He never gets sweets, juices and limit his fruit and bread intake.
He is not walking yet but we hope he will be a bit taller but as we are no giants, he could just be small.
What else can I do?
Thali

What does he eat in a typical day?

Does he get enough meat and protein?

What does he eat and why do you need to all finish at the same time?

OK, here we go...

Breastfeed at 5.30am

120ml Porridge and 1 peach or 2 apricots, half banana, 10 strawberries and if he cries for more and can't be distracted also one slice of bread.

Lunch could be
Small bowl of pasta, half chicken breast and veggies
5 white asparagus plus a crepes
Half steak with 3 potatoes and veggies
Adult portion of stew with rice
2 sausages with veggies (BBQ)
Half chicken breast with adult portion of potato salat
Adult portion of cous cous salat with veggies
followed by 1 orange or other fruit

Breastfeed + slice of bread as he cries for more

Slice of bread, 2 tomatoes, quater cucumber, small fruit portion like to strawberries

Breastfeed

If he wants food in between he's getting plain rice cakes. He usually wants food if he sees somebody else, mainly other kids, eating.

Same as when we are having food together, as long as there is something on the table or his plate is empty and I am still eating, he wants it. Hence I don't like eating together anymore.

I don't fees him cheese or yogurts as theses thongs are even more fattening. He gets a lot if iron rich veggies and also his water is calcium rich. So with the breastfeeding I recon we are ok.

He is still gaining, that's the problem .

Yes, that does sound like a lot of food. Does he have an evening meal as well?

I would give him more protein instead of bread. It's more filling. Maybe your health visitor can give more diet advice.

Wow that is insane. I would cut down the fruit and the rice cakes. Empty calories. Where's his water in that? What is calcium rich water? Just water is fine.There's a chance he's confusing hunger with thirst.
And watch his salt intake too.
Are you feeding him? My DCs wouldn't finish before we would as they self fed so took longer.

I don't think avoiding eating together is the answer but you do need to stop giving food just to keep him quiet. I agree it may be thirst instead, or just eating out of habit.

DS is 3.5 and in a typical day has -

• 1 slice of wholemeal toast and a piece of fruit
• fruit for mid morning snack
• bowl of soup for dinner
• side plate of whatever we are having for tea

Sometimes he has an afternoon snack which tends to be fruit or small amount of chocolate/biscuit.

At that age they need to eat little and often so by not giving him cheese/eggs/yoghurts etc then he isn't having much protein so is probably going to be hungry.

So going by your plan it looks like the only time he is having protein is lunch time?

I would do porridge for breakfast with fruit

Snack-Breadsticks/cheese or small yoghurt or banana

Lunch-scrambled egg on toast/ jacket potato/pasta with cheese sauce or sandwiches with cheese/ham/chicken etc

Snack-Rice cakes/fruit

And then whatever you eat for an evening meal.

With water or milk throughout the day.

Would he eat a hard boiled egg for a snack as it is protein rich rather than a slice of bread? Mashed avocado on oatcakes? They would probably fill him up more as a snack in the afternoon.

My 2 yr old is the same and has always been like this. Whilst most young children (especially under 2s) are able to self-regulate in terms of food intake, a small number are not and seem to have no internal off button. I think it is quite hard for people who have not experienced a child who eats like this to understand.

We have consulted a dietician and a child psychologist about this as the amount DS is capable of eating is quite scary and we have not been sure about how to handle it. I think it is important to try not to get stressed around mealtimes (although this is easier said than done - i have found it very stressful in the past). What we do now is to stick roughly to the recommended guidelines for portion sizes for his age group (here is a useful link www.infantandtoddlerforum.org/portion-sizes-table#.Uciy5fYtg6I) but start off with a slightly smaller portion and then when he asks for more, give him seconds, making his full portion up to the maximum recommended. We also let him have pretty much unlimited veggies (broccoli, carrots etc. - he eats pretty much anything), well not totally unlimited but a lot. He also eats a lot of fruit but not unlimited. The idea is to make sure he doesn't feel deprived and therefore become obsessed by food. We stick to structured meal and snack times (3 meals and 2 snacks) at pretty much the same time every day and I don't let him eat in between those times. I try and make sure he has plenty of protein and I do give cheese and full fat milk as I think these things are filling. I also do let him have treats now and again so as not to make a big deal out of it. Some of these ideas are from a book by Ellyn Slatter ('Helping Your Child's Weight without harming') but she recommends giving totally unlimited portions at meal times which I just can't accept. You might find it helpful to read it though. My DS is not now overweight - he is around 91st centile for weight, 97th for height but he does look like a big boy.

Good luck with everything - I understand how stressful mealtimes are when they want to eat everything off your plate but we have persevered with family mealtimes and he has got better at this. Honestly I have found the whole thing very difficult but have started to try and relax about it now so that DS doesn't pick up on my stuff.

Last word of the post should be 'stress' not 'stuff'!

Thanks Elodie123 !!

I am just so worried that he'll end up being obese. A lot of the other mums laugh off my concerns as they think it will "fall off" as soon as he starts walking. He is already pretty busy and crawling lots and fast so walking might or might not make a difference.

Do you think I should stop bf as this is also quite rich food?