Suggestions on pfb hitting me?

[CheshireDing]

She is 20 months so I didn't except this so soon and due to her age I can't really reason with her or put her on the naughty step so am a bit lost as to what to do.

If I say "no" she just laughs and does it again. This makes me think it's not malicious hitting (although obviously I could be wrong).

Any thoughts appreciated.

Say no and either put her down or walk away.

Talk to her as if she 100% understands and some day she will.

I teach my dd "gentle". So stroke hands and say gentle. She got it quickly. If she gets a bit rough, I say gentle and she then strokes. It works well (she's 19 months) and I did the same with my eldest.

Have you read this *Cheshire]]

That's such a good article!

Glad you like it, just a bit over my typos.

Any suggestions for a 13mo who does this too?? We try the 'gentle' but she she seems to find it all hilarious :-(

You need to figure out what she's actually trying to do and redirect her into an alternative.

e.g.

She's trying to play a game with you but doesn't really understand that this game isn't fun for you. Show her a different game you can play like high fives or a nursery rhyme with actions.

She likes the feeling of hitting things but doesn't understand that hitting people hurts. Show her a drum or a toy with big buttons she can whack. (Liking the feeling of hitting sounds a bit psychotic but it's a schema - ie that particular way of moving is interesting to her at the moment which is a developmental stage because for example she is developing more accurate control over her arms and wrists)

She is frustrated and wants to hurt you to show that she is angry (unlikely at 20 months but showing her another way to show she is angry - using words to explain you understand how she is feeling - "I can see you're really cross about that biscuit" - or encouraging her to let out her anger in other ways e.g. hitting a pillow or throwing a small beanbag or something)

She intends to touch/stroke you lovingly but hasn't got the coordination to moderate the speed at which her arm strikes you - again unlikely at 20 months unless she is developmentally delayed as this is more likely for small babies. This is when the "gentle, ahh" and showing her a stroking motion works.

With each of this make the appropriate action really encouraging and show disapproval/upset if she is doing the inappropriate version. You can also use simple language to explain e.g. "People are not for hitting. Drums are for hitting."

Our dd used to do this. Just run up and slap you then run away laughing. It did pass and she never hit anybody but me and dh. I think we just used to say NO! and look upset. It seemed to be a game for her. She liked the reaction and it was usually when we weren't paying her attention. I like the gentle idea.

Thanks everyone for your comments. We have started trying the "gentle", mixed with one occasion where I put her down and turned away (a bit Cesaer-Milan-ish-esque as he does with puppies ). So far she just looks at us vacantly and either stops or does it again.

Early days though so will persist and have a read of Jilteds article.