DD has always been a difficult child at home, very demanding of attention, prone to physically hurting her older brother, screaming, cheekiness, etc. Now the biting and pinching has stopped but it has been replaced by this even worse obnoxious bullying chanting. 'Mummy is stupid, Mummy is stupid, ...' to an irritating tune if I disagree with something she wants or is doing. Often it's aimed at DS (nearly 10) and last night brought me to tears as she was chanting at him 'X wears a nappy' when he put his pull up on. She knows he hates that he still wets the bed and wears a pull up, so she was being deliberately cruel and bullying. I couldn't even look at her when I said goodnight - I really did not like her.
But I don't know how to stop the behaviour. We have spoken to her about it, explained how it makes us feel, how it hurts our feelings and makes us sad, tried to get her to empathise. She is all sad and apologetic, claims she can't help it as the words are in her head and does the same thing next time she gets cross. I've had tried putting her in her room so at least we don't have to listen to the chanting, but it's a huge row to get her to go (I can't lift her, kicking and screaming) and she doesn't stay there. I have tried sanctions (no TV generally) and that becomes a screaming match when I remind her that she can't have TV. I've tried ignoring and eventually she does stop but after a long time and I can't expect DS to put it with it. She isn't in the slightest bit interested by star charts, never has been.
She can be a very loving and cuddly child and I'm sure that DS is responsible for starting a lot of the rows, insofar as he doesn't want to cuddle her or play her game or whatever. It feels a bit like parenting Jekyll and Hyde - one minute she's lovely, then next she is horrid. I hate feeling like this about my own child who I love very much, but I feel quite desperate and do worry about the future. It doesn't help that one of DH's sisters (who we have nothing to do with) acts like a grown up version of this. As yet, none of this obnoxious behaviour has manifested itself at school, although she can behave like this for my mum who she is very comfortable with. She seems quite popular, academically and physically capable, and if anything a little lacking in confidence at school.