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Arrgghh Helpful Advice Needed -Food Holding

14 replies

yawningmonster · 21/06/2013 22:31

Background....dd was very, very, very slow at getting established onto solids and was really not interested in non breast made food until she was 18 months, it took until she was 2 and a half to get her eating several times a day (which is when I weaned her in desperation) She is by far the fussiest of my children. We are pretty low key about it, we offer food it is eaten or it isn't eaten and we don't make a huge deal about it. Our kids have a fairly balanced diet but are also allowed occasional treats etc.
Over the last 4 weeks dd has taken to eating quite happily then suddenly she will puff out her cheeks and hold the mouthful. When she first started doing it, we ignored her but she took to spitting it out much later in random places. We handed her a cleaning cloth and made no big deal about it. It started getting worse and about 10 days ago we sat down and came up with a game plan. Whenever she does it she is led quietly to the toilet where she can spit out the mouthful. There is no more food until the next meal (she will often ask for something else straight away. We have explained that her body has told us she is not longer hungry. At the same time we have a chart up with 5 squares, she gets a picture in the square for every incident of polite eating we see and a prise after the 5 are filled. She is getting a prize every 2 days so out of 12 meals she has managed 5 nicely. We do not expect her to finish her food but we do expect her to say I have had enough and then finish rather than hold if that makes sense. On the other side of things we are trying to spend lots of one on one time with her and give her lots of positive attention in other aspects.
This is driving me a bit nuts, she does it when we are out, everywhere with food she likes and has eaten every bit of except the last bit.
She is just 4. Help.

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
yawningmonster · 21/06/2013 22:36

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yawningmonster · 21/06/2013 22:39

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yawningmonster · 21/06/2013 22:55

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yawningmonster · 21/06/2013 23:20

please

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k2togm1 · 21/06/2013 23:31

Oh dear, sorry nothing helpful has been said yet.
I have no idea, it seems to me you dealing with it right. I am sure this isn't the issue, but I was a terrible eater as a child and did the hamster thing, now I think my family are just bad at cooking and I didn't enjoy food Blush
BUT if you are successfully feeding the rest of your family it may be just another phase for your dd.

yawningmonster · 21/06/2013 23:37

thanks for answering, I am not the worlds best cook I admit but it doesn't need to be something I have cooked, she will do it with something ready made too and she will happily eat 90% of it just seems to be the last mouthful most of the time.

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yawningmonster · 21/06/2013 23:42

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k2togm1 · 21/06/2013 23:47

She may be just not realising she is full until she has that last mouthful. What you are doing guiding her into knowing when she's full is the correct way I guess?

yawningmonster · 22/06/2013 05:02

I think she knows when she is full. I think it is more about control. We do a self serve at meals to try to give her control on amounts etc. I'm not sure she actually is full as she often asks for something straight after she has spat out the mouthful. Thank you for replying though.

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yawningmonster · 22/06/2013 06:11

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yawningmonster · 22/06/2013 07:10

Some more advise greatly appreciated

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coronalover · 22/06/2013 09:59

To be honest I think this sounds more like a discipline issue rather than a food issue IYKWIM. At 4yo she's old enough to be told off for spitting out food in random places. The reward system sounds good and I'd stick with it, but if I were you I'd not let her leave the table until she's either chewed and swallowed her food or spit it out into a tissue for a grown up to put in the bin. Then carry on with the meal. If she's finished then fine otherwise let her eat a bit more or have pudding etc. but get her to verbally tell you she's finishef rather than the food holding thing.
I do take a bit of a hard line with table manners with my own DC but I HTH

ExBrightonBell · 22/06/2013 10:00

I have no particular experience in this area as my ds is only 11 months old. But, it seems to me that your dd is getting a lot of attention for this behaviour, with the chart and the prizes and so on. It also seems to upset you a lot when she holds onto food, more than it seems to warrant?

I would be inclined to stick with your first instinct and to simply end the meal when she does this, without making a big deal of it. Then just clean up after her when she spits the food out, again without showing much interest. If it is treated as boringly as possible she will realise that it doesn't get any extra attention, and hopefully it will stop.

Misty9 · 23/06/2013 23:17

I have experience of this - but only with ds when he was first weaning onto solids at around 9/10mo. He would hold food in his mouth and scream until we got it out for him. But that was more to do with him not being able to spit it out (he can now at 21mo!) and for some reason not swallowing it (possibly a high palate or some other issue).

I agree about not letting her leave the table until she has finished her mouthful (or spat it out into a tissue) as at 4yo she is old enough to understand consequences and learn what is/isn't polite manners. The other positive reinforcement stuff is very good too, but I guess a bit like fishing in the dark given that you don't know why she's doing it...

Have you tried talking to her about it? Asking her why? I'm guessing you have... Maybe some books about eating, or this specific issue if you're lucky?

Could you try taking away her plate before she's completely finished? Not sure how much of a long term solution that is though... Maybe do it with something she really likes to start with?!

HTH

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