20mo just laughs when we say no - need a new approach!

[Jojobump1986]

Apparently "no" & "stop" are the punchlines for jokes we haven't heard! He does something he knows he's not supposed to, ignores us or giggles when we tell him to stop & laughs hysterically when we go to move him away. It's got to the point where we've discussed a tap on the back of his hand just to show him we're not playing. This really isn't a route either of us want to go down but we're running out of ideas!

I'm not convinced that he's at the stage where he'd understand time-outs & would probably think this was a hilarious new game! I've tried it a few times with him while heavily pregnant & he just lay on the floor giggling at me.

Does anyone have any magic ways of teaching him we're not playing a game?! I've known loads of little children & not one of them has found my cross-face at all amusing! I'm struggling to get back on my feet after having DS2 less than 2 weeks ago & DH goes back to work on Monday so I'm facing dealing with a baby who absolutely must be fed at precisely 3 hourly intervals or the world will end & a toddler who has an unhealthy obsession with socket switches & banging anything he can grab on the radiator! Help me!

Watching with interest! DD (19mo) is similar. I'm trying a new thing where I ask her to stop and tell her why I want her to (essentially a warning), then tell her no and if she does it again I physically move her away from whatever she's doing (into another room if necessary) and have an attention time out (basically ignore any crying/tantrums/attempts to curry favour) for about a minute and then explain why i dont want her doing it again.

Sorry that was a massive sentence. Also sounds a lot more long winded when written. I have no idea whether this is right - seems to be working so far, but we're only on day three so would be great to hear about any proven techniques.

I read 'The Happiest Toddler on the Block' and found it really helpful in terms of getting my DD (19months) to listen and take on board instructions.

Also, we try to only say no to when we really, really mean it - things which are dangerous to her or others. For everything else we try and use different instructions like: 'chairs are for sitting on' (instead of no, don't stand on the chair). I think it's helping her to understand no means no.

Hope that helps!

I agree with notadoctor about using different (and more specific) instructions.

I use the phrase "You mustn't..." with my dd which has worked quite well as she now parrots back to me what she mustn't do, with a finger raised seriously in the air :)

And IMO 20mo is plenty old enough to understand a negative consequence. You just need to find a consequence that actually bothers him.

We're making progress! We've started putting him in his highchair when he doesn't listen & then he's asked to come & say sorry to whoever he ignored. The second time we did it this afternoon DH picked him up & carried him out of the room & as they went he was calling out "sooooor-wee" in his sweetest, most apologetic voice! DH & I managed to keep straight faces until he was safely in a different room & then fell about laughing! It was just too cute!

I hadn't wanted to use his highchair for time-outs because I didn't want him to feel like mealtimes were a punishment, IYSWIM, but that doesn't seem to be an issue at the moment. We're also thinking carefully about the language we use. We have friends who only use 'stop' for dangerous situations & their children just freeze the second they say it!

Thanks for all the advice. It's really useful to know how other people do things, especially when you're too sleep-deprived & hormone-addled to be able to think straight!

Not helpful at all but my dh does this. He is 33.

Do you have a highchair you can put him in Woofers?