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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

How much time spent on the computer

28 replies

moosh · 04/02/2004 13:40

My ds is 4 and is on the computer about 2 hours every other day. He only plays learning games, ABC and 123, winnie the pooh. Even though the PC is on for two hours he gets off every half an hour to play with something else then he'll get back on. He is never on there after 4.00p.m (we tend to put on CITV or CBeebies) as I feel it can stimulate his brain particulary before bedtime. Just wondered how long other mumsnetters children are on the computers for. His pre-school teacher said that they should only be on there for 15minutes, but by the time he's got on there for 15 minutes, he'll have to come off. What do you all think? Thanks

OP posts:

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annh · 04/02/2004 14:55

Two hours sounds like a lot, even if he is having some breaks in between and particularly if he is then going on to watch TV. I find my ds1 gets very agressive and prone to getting over-excited about the least thing if he has more than an hour at a time on the computer.

tamum · 04/02/2004 15:09

I guess it depends on what he plays (it sounds very harmless) and what he's like afterwards. My ds is 9 and is still only allowed on the PC/Gameboy combined for an hour a day, slightly longer at weekends (90 min maximum though). I limit him because he just gets very obsessive otherwise and I think he would end up not knowing what else to do with himself if I didn;t force the issue. I agree that 15 minutes is a bit short really, and if your ds has a take it or leave it attitude then I wouldn't worry unduly.

Original poster

moosh · 04/02/2004 18:38

He isn't very aggressive or he doesn't get over excited, just a typical 4 year old. But it is every other day and I may consider cutting it down by half an hour. So in total he will probably be sitting at the PC for about an hour. Thanks guys.

OP posts:

zebra · 04/02/2004 18:41

About 1/2 hour per day is what my 4yo does, Moosh; but there are odd days when he might be on for up to 2 hours.
We don't have a TV, so maybe we have a little extra allowance. I think DS learns a lot by using the computer and hasn't seemed like too much, yet.

nutcracker · 04/02/2004 18:48

I would perhaps limit it to an hour instead.

popsycal · 04/02/2004 18:49

i thougth that was going t o be a thread about us grown ups...
was dreading having to work it out!!
!phew!!

squirmyworm · 04/02/2004 19:05

prob a silly question but has there been any research on small children's exposure to electromag radiation from computer use?? I just throw this is as I often feel guilty bouncing ds on my knee as I pottle away on the PC

mrsforgetful · 07/02/2004 02:36

well...i will cause a riot here-i hope others aroung will back me up- with autistic children there tends to be a love of playstations p.c's etc....by the age of 5 ds1 was plaing it 3hrs on school nights and 8-10 hours at weekends- with odd little breaks so the longest he was up in one go was 1hour . Ds 2 used to obsessively play with lego for 8 hours...now he too is a playstion addic- ds3 flits around- he cannot sit still ling enough to play for more than 20mins

I am resigned to this and accept it is linked to asperger's- and as i said no one bats an eyelid abot an 8 hour lego marathon....so what i do to 'minimize' the 'negatives' is call them down for snack'n'chats and ask them what their playing and how they are doing....my attitude has become that My SONS LOVE GAMING/SURFING....so i get involved so i can join in to- and then i can even snesk bits of maths and spelling in to push a bit of education in to!

mieow · 07/02/2004 08:01

MrsF. My DS, 6, have CP but we have aways questioned his behaviour as well. Anyway he can play the PS2 for 8-12 hours a day at weekends and 3-4 hours on school days. I am fed up with the amount of time he spends on them. He has been able to play PS games since he was 18 months old. He can read brillantly and his maths skills are out of this world, but does it sound like he has AS?

littlerach · 07/02/2004 08:37

Mieow, my step son has CP and also uses the PS or PC for extremely long periods of time, something which I am not comfortable with.
He is obsessive abou it, but only to the same extent that he is obsessive about football and other sports.
I find his behaviour anti-social as he refuses to spend time with us as a family unless almost forced to. DH joked the other day that he wouldn't visit us if we didn't have broadband or PS, his DS agreed, sad but true.
I think it is a question of what you are comfortable with.

mieow · 07/02/2004 09:05

He is very unsocialable and we do try and get him off the computer. If we go to someone house he will play on their computers. He isn't one for board games ( I try) and he doesn't play with toys. He has no imaginsion (sp??) We have brought castles, remote control cars, lego models etc with no luck.
My sister sometimes comes round and says after about 2 hours "oh wheres Con?" He is playing his games and hasn't made an appearance.
I am going to try and get him off it.
Can they go "cold Turkey??"

coppertop · 07/02/2004 09:10

Ds1 is 3.6yrs old and autistic. He is limited to a couple of hours a day at the moment. He has been using the computer since he was 18 months old. He has problems holding a pencil properly because of sensory problems (he has to hold a pencil at the top with just his fingertips) so his computer skills could also be useful if he is still having trouble with this when he starts school. He already types in his name and password unprompted so we would have the option of letting him type rather than write - at least until his desensitisation exercises start to take effect.

StressyHead · 07/02/2004 09:55

message withdrawn

Beadgirl · 07/02/2004 10:05

OK I'm prepared to be shouted at. I know very little about the SN you are referring to. However...
I am truly shocked by the amount of time your DS/DD spend on PC etc. I limit my 2 to 30 mins - they don't ask every day, maybe 3 times a week. I understand that some have obsessions but if they were obsessed by some other activity that may impair their health/development would you allow it? If not, why are PCs, PSs Ok? I just don't understand.

Creeps off to find protective head gear

littlerach · 07/02/2004 10:22

Agree, Beadgirl, I was shocked by the amount of time step son spends in front of a screen. V. complicated as he doesn't live with us. When I have objected, his reply is that he does it at home. Classic comment was when he asked why we didn't have Sky, and I replied that I thought it a waste of money, and that we watch enough TV anyway. He replied that he gets it through his DLA money and that is why it is in his bedroom, and his sister cannot watch it. I had to stop myself!!! He has chosen not to visit us on occasions when there is football on Sky, as he would prefer to watch this. DH finds it hard, as he doesn't want the whole weekend to be an argument, so tends to give in to keep the peace.

Beadgirl · 07/02/2004 10:34

Yes, I can see it is difficult when he's not with you all of the time.
Is there anyhting he will chose over the computer?

littlerach · 07/02/2004 10:34

To watch Man United on the TV!!

coppertop · 07/02/2004 11:44

Beadgirl - A lot of autistic behaviours can appear to be shocking, even when you have direct experience of them. Autism is a developmental disorder so whereas ds1 may be behind in some areas, eg his drawing skills are consistent with an 18mth old child, in other areas he is extremely advanced, eg he taught himself to read just after his 2nd birthday.

For an autistic child a computer can provide a variety of things. It provides a form of visual stimulation for those (like my son) who have sensory integration disorders. It helps them to develop their fine-motor skills and hand-eye co-ordination. In my son's case it also helped to de-sensitise his fingertips (a HUGE step forward for us ).

No two autistic children are the same but a large number of them just do not play with toys. My son used to prefer to passively stand and watch the washing-machine spin round and round. Interaction with a computer is far better for his development than interaction with the washing machine.

mumeeee · 07/02/2004 13:47

My 14 year old dd will stay on the computer for hours playing her Sims game and chating to her friends so we try and llimit her to 2hrs a day. I think that is enough time for any child to be sitting still. I think 2hrs for a 4 year old is to much.

SueW · 07/02/2004 20:55

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at OP's request.

mrsforgetful · 07/02/2004 21:01

MEIOW- youre son sounds like my ds1's twin....but That does not make him Asperger's!!!

Like coppertop said - some simply do not 'play' as other kids do- I bought all the 'right' toys for my ds1- we had finger paints, puzzles,cars,a pretend kitchen with plastic vegetables and the like...and so on.
Yet despited constant 'joining in' with him he played with none of it alone- and when he did join in his attetion span was so short that i soon tired of 'bothering' to set everything up as it took longer to get it all ready than he was able to play- and when he played independantly of me it was to simply tip all his toys out of the plastic boxes i had them in and would then pile the boxes up and knock them down repetitively- then at 4 someone offerred us a playstation cheap and we got it for my stepsons to use on visits....however it was soon obvious that we had 'stumbled' on a 'toy' he would play

Now i wish he did not play for hours- and days- and up to age 6 itried to 'make it as educational as i could....counting/memory games etc...however now he is far beyond that and i have decided now to just be glad that he has a 'pleasure'.

I also can see why people are horrified etc...however- I cannot do the 'normal' things that I'd give anything to be able to do with him- like take him out for a whole day out somewhere- like the beach- he cannot see the logic of those things- therefore he does not feel deprived by 'not going out' -rather he feels deprived by us taking him away from his pastimes.

As far as 'safety' etc and would i encourage him to do anyting else that had 'risks' such as those associated with prolonged use of videogames....well ofcourse no....but can think of at least 10 kids near me who are out from daylight to dusk on their bikes and skateboards- weaving in and out of traffic- my son is 'scared' to climb a slide let alone a tree- he cannot ride a bike, and his skateboard is just sat in the shed......He is 10 and if anyone calls for him he does not 'understand' the 'hanging out' kids his age do around the streets or park - so this is why i accept him as he is- still 'wish' i could 'drag' him of the playstaion more often.... but at school he has been graded as more able than a 16yr old as far as computers go- so i have to just accept 'it's his thing'

If he were to be in a field all day kicking a football on his own noone would worry- if he were able to ride a bike all day- that would be fine too- but choosing to play videogames will ALWAYS cause alarms!

But i accept him the way he is.

Jimjams · 07/02/2004 21:10

mieow- suppose if conno has cp then playstation etc is "easy" entertainment for him - iyswim. No wonder he likes it. it is quite common for children with cp to have some auti features as they often have the same sensory problems. Doesn;t make them auti though so I wouldn't worry - and let him play.

Actually my dh visited me in Japan (this was before we were married I was living there for a year) and the bastard spent the whole time on a game boy I bought (more fool me). He's not remotely AS.

I;m trying to get my son interested in computers as it would be better than fltting. Actually that's not right - he's VERy interested in computers but at the moment he finds it difficult to look at the screen and move the mouse (very monochanneled). I would love computers to become an obsession (well they are- but one he could do by himself), as I think it would be vey productive and open all sorts of opportunities for him

Jimjams · 07/02/2004 22:53

Juat re-read that and not sure it sounds right. By "easy" entertainment I just mean its not frustrating or tiring for him. Lots of things that other children like doing (eg playing with playmobile) is really hard for my son as he is too dyspraxic for it to be anything except frustrating. Hope you know what I meant...

littlerach · 08/02/2004 09:45

Agree with what you mean about it being easy, JimJams, it just becomes so anti-social. Also, stepson finds it increasingly hard to focus when he comes away from the screen, his eyes take ages to adjust. I think that if he was using it as an educational tool, it would be less frustrating, but it is set up on replay of games (he cannot use mouse or controls very well, and becomes angry if it doesn't do as he wants!).
I know that things are more focused to computing etc, but feel that I wouldn't let DD sit in front of TV for long, and that could be seen as educational, so the computer is the same IMO.
I have started to impose breaks every half hopur, when he has to come away from the screen - last time I did this he threw head-fit and begged to have the telly on instead.

mieow · 08/02/2004 15:22

I understand that children with CP have senory problems. He has spend the night with my sister and then went to a Dolls house fair with me, he has come in and straight to the computer, been on about 1 hour now. I have paints and pens which I encourage him to use but after about 3 minutes he gets fed up with it.
He enjoys reading which we actively encourage as I enjoy reading and always have done. He is very socialable at school but not at home I am soo fed up with it. When we have taken the PS away he goes mental.........
DDs aren't really interested in computers which is a refief.
Jimjams, are you telling me to let him play??? what would everyone say!!!!?? hehe

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