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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

2 years 2 months - shockingly bad and demanding behaviour. Is this normal? What can I do?

16 replies

Stripedmum · 19/06/2013 15:18

From the moment we get up he tests me. Getting him dressed, breakfast, changing nappy, throwing things about. At every juncture he cries and whinges. Going to play with others his own age - constantly hitting, grabbing, doing things he shouldn't. He is only capable of play on his own for short bursts and seems to need one on one attention 95% of the time.

I discipline him by sitting him on a naughty spot but while it did work now he just says 'sorry mummy, sorry mummy,' doesn't repeat the same wrongdoing but goes onto the next thing to break/throw etc etc etc.

Is this normal? Any more tactics? I praise him wholeheartedly every single time he does something positive.

I have a nine week old and he has started pinching, hitting her too. I need some advice and fast!

Strangely on the odd occasion others look after him like GPs he's an 'angel' - and for DH he's not half as bad. I know you shouldn't compare children but my friends boys of his age are nowhere near as badly behaved as far as I can see.

On a positive note he's an extremely bright and loving boy (not to mention gorgeous but I am biased). I do need to get this behaviour sorted though.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

CrapBag · 19/06/2013 17:30

At a guess I would say 'terrible twos' coupled with new baby?

He may be feeling put out because of the new arrival and trying to get your attention by playing up.

Personally I think they are too young for the step at this age.

My 2 year old likes getting stickers on her chart. We weren't planning on doing a chart for her at this young age but her older brother has one and she really likes hers too.

I just consistently tell them (feels like I want to rip my head off though with the amount of repeating I do!) and if its anything physical, I would remove them from the situation and firmly tell them its unacceptable behaviour then remove your attention from them. Easier said than done!

Original poster

Stripedmum · 19/06/2013 18:11

Stickers!!! What a fantastic idea. I will definitely give that a try as I think it's something he'd really enjoy. Thanks for that tip!

OP posts:

Original poster

Stripedmum · 19/06/2013 18:12

Can relate to wanting to rip my own head off

OP posts:

CrapBag · 19/06/2013 18:15

No problem. Have yet to meet a child that doesn't love getting a sticker.

We have this

Original poster

Stripedmum · 19/06/2013 18:20

Oooh shall order! Thank you!

OP posts:

JollyShortGiant · 19/06/2013 18:23

Is he getting enough sleep? DS gets like this if he has not had enough sleep over the past few days.

He gets stickers for staying in bed until his gro clock says it's morning. It took about a month for him to 'get it' though.

Longtallsally · 19/06/2013 18:25

Lol - sounds like my son's level of energy at that age. Yes to stickers. And then lots and lots of fresh air too - we have a very small garden so used to go the park two or three times ever day. I breastfed on a bench, and he used to run around the edge of the playground while I timed him, two, three, four times. Or I set obstacle courses - over the climbing frame, under the slide, touch the fence, back down the slide before I count to 25.

Naughty step, or time out of some use, if applied immediately - or favourite toy on the shelf until better behaved. Try reading 1-2-3 Magic too - a variation on the theme, but a useful book for keeping sanity.

Distraction, especially via tickling, very useful too, before a problem occurs, if you can see something building. Nothing like reducing them to a helpless puddle of giggles to remind yourself how much you love them.

Keep posting too. My ds was much more energetic than all of his friends too, and made me doubt myself. We did lots of long welly walks/went exploring/crossed fields and rivers and mountains, whilst his calmer friends played calmly with toys. However, I found kindred spirits here and realised that he was not abnormal - just himself.

Longtallsally · 19/06/2013 18:27

DS1's behaviour also became much more extreme in the two or three days before a new tooth appeared. He didn't seem to recognise pain, but it had the same effect as lack of sleep can, In making him more hyper too . . . .

Original poster

Stripedmum · 19/06/2013 18:47

Jolly - no he's not getting enough sleep. He really needs a nap at 11 (he's up a 6) but he's that bloody stubborn he refuses and then is a mess come 3pm. However let him sleep at 3pm and getting him to bed at a reasonable hour becomes impossible. Any tips?

Long! What a lovely helpful post. I'm going to have to bite the bullet and lop my boob out on the park bench then. Stuff 'em!!! Sons great tips there. Shall give them a whirl.

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HorryIsUpduffed · 19/06/2013 19:43

DS2 is the same age and similarly trying.

He has dropped his nap completely though and only sleeps in the day if he's completely exhausted (eg after a day out, when poorly, when it's very hot).

I agree that it's the new baby though. DS1 did similar a couple of months in, having been perfectly behaved at first.

This Too Shall Pass.

CreatureRetorts · 19/06/2013 20:28

He's only young. Naughty step and time out don't work that well at that age. Better to do a quick and stern no then take him away. Also be positive - show him how to interact with baby. It'll be hard for him to get used to not having you all the time and having to share plus you'll be tired with new baby.
I found it a hard ride when dc2 arrived. Ds was 2.2 and it all went a bit awry for a few months.

sedgieloo · 19/06/2013 21:00

I can second longtallsally rec of 123 magic. It works for us. It uses a form of time out and is for age 2-12. The new baby will be part of it. We had a rocky few months. Same gap.

Try doing quiet time at nap time. If he sleeps he sleeps. If not you and he have has a break. I put dd in her cot, make a den with a blanket tied at the corners. Give her a drink and some books and some music. Half the time she says she doesn't need the books as she is going to sleep.

Original poster

Stripedmum · 19/06/2013 21:11

What a lovely idea Sedgie!! That really is something I'll try.

So is 123 Magic a book or a tactic?

OP posts:

MrsMarigold · 19/06/2013 22:03

You could be describing my two year old, although his sister is 9 months. Glad I'm not alone, also going out to the park etc is all very well but mine insists on climbing anything and everything and running away.

JollyShortGiant · 19/06/2013 22:10

Sorry, Striped, I have no good advice re sleep.

On the 'naughty step' I don't use a certain spot, just sit him down somewhere appropriate wherever we are and tell him he has to sit still. I leave him for 90 seconds then get him to say sorry and give me a kiss before he can move.

I also try my hardest to make threats/punishments that are appropriate and that I'm willing to keep to. So I won't threaten to take him out of somewhere and go home unless I'm able to follow through.

sedgieloo · 19/06/2013 22:30

123 magic is by Thomas Phelan. There is quite a bit online (parent blogs etc) but the book is worth a look. I don't 'like' timeout but this works for me/dd. also. As hard as it is...Do make some special time with ds when baby naps, letting him know it is your and his special time. This helped us too. He probably misses you and is confused about how life has suddenly changed so much.

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