social communication problems

[gillmc]

Hi
Its my first time posting here and wondered if anyone could advise or has been in a similar situation. My daughter is 15 and goes to a special school. She has always had problems with social things and was bullyed at junior school as she never spoke to anyone unless they asked her a direct question and so found it hard to make friends, she never had the confidence to ask to join in. she always waited to be asked and even then never felt comfortable.
We had her tested for autism and she was borderline.
She now goes to high school and still doesn't join in. She works really hard but still doesn't make friends. Ive encouraged her and asked her to invite others home but she never does it.
At home with just me and her dad shes really talkative most of the time and laughs with us but she does says she gets mithered a lot and has a really witty dry sense of humour, but as soon as someone else comes in or we go elsewhere she just clams up and wont speak unless they ask her a question. This even happens with family who shes known all her life.
She says it upsets her that she cant join in.
I just wish others could see her for her true personality.
Has anyone else experienced this please

It sounds like selective mutism OP...which IS treatable. I had it to some extent but we clipped it's wings early on....you should DEFINITELY speak to your GP about this...they can get DD some therapy which will help her to get over this....it's very debilitatiing and often hits bright kids....poor DD...I can really feel for you both. But definitely...see the GP.

Yes, definitely sounds like selective mutism, which my 12yo DD has. It's an extreme form of social anxiety. The good news is that it is treatable. The bad news is that it takes aaaaaages to get treatment through the NHS, if it's available at all, and a lot of professionals still misunderstand what it is and what to do.

Google it and see if it sounds right to you, and if so you might like to contact SMIRA - the Selective Mutism Information and Resource Association who have a Facebook discussion page and can also send you written information if you contact them.

There you go OP and do come back and let us know how you get on. In the meantime could DD perhaps start a hobby like crafting? There's a great site called craftster which has a lovely community of young women and girls....they chat on there and post their stuff...very nice way of making some online mates.