Dont like to think of this as spiteful behaviour, but not entirely sure it was playful innocence either. what do you think?

[jimijack]

My niece who is 10, my sister is a single mum, but lives with my mum who does about 80% of the childcare and has done since dn birth.

There are lots of behavioural issues at home & school.

Decided to pop round with my ds aged 9 after school to say hi.

As we were leaving i asked ds to take our glasses into the kitchen, he did then went to the conservatory to look at nannas garden.

Dn then shut and locked the door, ran through the house shutting every door as she went laughing that she had locked him in.

I went and let him out. I think she was playing, but not sure.

Conservatory was very hot, ds just sighed and shrugged. DH wants me to not take ds again, to keep him away as there is always something with her. But they ae cousins, i think they should have contact.

I think mum & my sister are at a loss as to how to handle her. Its not my place to comment or say anything, but i think that they have lost her. Its gone too far for far too long.

Your DH is massively over-reacting. What she did either was a prank or not very nice, but he's 9 - not 2 - being locked in the conservatory for a couple of minutes is hardly worth causing a family rift over fgs.

Do you think they'd be receptive to any advice/help or would they just think you should MYOB?

has your sister spoken to school to see if there are any problems there? most schools are helpful to work with parents/ carers, how does your niece behave in class and around others kids, might throw up a few clues, don't stop the visits as that would be a shame but you need to keep an eye on the pair of them together, it sounds as if this young girl needs a bit of understanding. she cannot rule the roost some structure at home might help if there is none. the adults are in charge after all. good luck but don't let her split the family up i'm sure this can be sorted out in due cause

As i say, this is one thing in amongst years of issues.

I just dont know what i would say or suggest tbh.

My mum parents dn the same way she parented us, badly.

My sister isnt really interested in niece, so sits back and lets my mum do it all.

There is allot of arguments over my niece.

bullying/behaviour/cheeky/refusal to join in or do work at school is what school always say. Over & over.

i feel that be neglecting and yes it is a form of neglect, that your sister is letting her child down she sounds irrresponsible, sorry but i would think about airing my concerns with social services and getting outside support, i would do it for my niece if nothing else, she deserves better.

How sad for your niece who must be aware that her own mother doesn't want her.

My mum disowned me at age 4 but growing up knowing that the 1 person who should want and care for you but doesn't, is very very hard to live with, even now. I have never fully come to terms with it and I was brought up in a very loving household by my GPs.

I would get advice from SS too as it seems like your mum isn't really doing enough.

Also if this is the latest in a long line of bad behaviour towards your DS then your DH has a point. Cousins or not, he has the right not to be tormented by a family member.