Compulsive handwashing

[ELD]

My 4 3/4 year old has seemed a bit out of sorts and miserable lately, though we can't pin it down to anything specific (eg school/new baby/best friend moving house, all of which are ongoing issues). She has also started washing her hands very frequently, and also seems ultra-conscious of her hands eg will worry that she has scratched somebody/something when in fact she has just touched it very gently.

Has anyone had anything similar, or have any thoughts?

Hmmm, sounds VERY much like OCD - Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. My sister has it, and has had since she was little.

Really sorry - don't want to scare you or be the bearer of anything you dodn't want to hear but the washing and fear of harming thing is classic OCD.

Not sure what can be done but worth starting at the GP's.
I'll be back to this but in the meantime others on here m,ay help you.

Lots of love to you ELD.

ELD - I think a lot of children develop obsessive actions/ thoughts like this if they are anxious - but doesnt always develop into full blown OCD.

My niece went through a period of systematically pulling out her hair a few years ago - about 7 at the time- but she grew out of it and has never had any problems since. My SIL did take her to the drs although at the time they said just to keep an eye on it and to come back if it didnt improve.

Eventually it came out that she had been finding it difficult to get on with a particular group of friends at school plus SIL had been very busy at work and looking after her sick mother and my niece had been feeling sad and a bit lonely.

From what youve said the best friend moving away might be very significant. (in addition to starting school / new baby.) They are all quite big things to get used to.

It must be very difficult with a new baby - but is there any chance of you leaving the baby with someone for a few hours each week so that you can spend some one to one time with your daughter.
Something that she knows is a special time which is just for her.
Might just help her get her confidence back a bit.
Sorry havent got more advice but Im sure others will have more experience.
Kizziex

Yes Kizzie is right - sorry - I don't want to scare you, it's just that as my sister has it when I hear of things like that I just automatically think - OCD and think about my little sister etc - sorry - I don't want to have worried you or anything.

Thomcat - how is your sister at the moment? I remember reading her story on another thread.

ELD - sounds like your daughter might be going through something similar to Ks son.

(KS - isnt it incredible how sensitive children are sometimes to changes like this- Im glad your son has settled in now)

Fingers crossed it will pass soon.
Good luck.
Kizziex

Thank you, this is all helpful. I've been coming to the view these are all signs of anxiety. She started school last Sept but hasn't settled in brilliantly. The new baby is not due til May and she seems very excited about that (she already has a 3 yr old brother) but I think it's quite possible anxiety about school is undermining her confidence (she got in big trouble with her teacher on Friday and has been v anxious since then) and I need to find ways to build her up. Any further thoughts v gratefully received.

Kizzie - thanks for asking but she's terrible bless her, always has been, always is and always will be it feels like. People stop asking how she is really beacuse it's just depressing to keep saying no change after 20 odd years of it.

Anyway - lets not go down that road.

ELD - I hope you're okay and not too worried about things. There is a really good book that you may like to read called 'The Boy Who Couldn't Stop Washing'. I'm not saying you daughter has OCD but it may be interesting read anyway and open up your eyes to something etc, there is no harm in knowing about OCD and just being aware of it.

I?m sure that your little girl is just a sensitive little soul who is temporarily anxious and all will be will.

TC xx

"Freeing your child from obsessive compulsive disorder" by Tamar E chansky is quite good.

TC- I've just come across a suplement TMG which has supposedly improved OCD behaviour dramatically in people with autism.

I think I will be trying it at some stage with ds1- who is very obsessive compulsive at the moment. I will let you know if it helps.

I know it can sound a bit mad- but we have seen such major improvements with ds1's behaviour by changing diet (and I mean OCD and other autistic behaviours) that I'm willing to give anything safe a go.

I will let you know more when I've spoken to our nutritionist- you may need to increase the dose slowly.

TMG provides methyl groups- so - I've only glanced at this- but I think it will affect neurotransmitters in the brain. Could be wrong though- I haven't read the detail yet.

Ds1 (3.6yrs) is a compulsive hand-washer but in his case it is a sensory thing. His hands are so sensitive that he won't touch anything with the palms of his hands and will pick things up with a pincer-grip. Even a tiny bit of dirt on his hands seems to be uncomfortable for him so he has to wash his hands.

coppertop- we improved ds1's sensitivity by rubbing different textures on his hands, and using a massager each night. We would go up the back of the hand 3 times, down the palm of the hand 3 times and up and down each finger. It's really helped. He even reached into jelly to get toys recently.

Thomcat - im really sorry. I won't bother boring you with a list of all the help groups because I'm sure you've been down that route. It must be a real strain on you and all your family as well as your sister. Im just so sorry that you're all having to go through it.

ELD - Ds started school in sept too and has had some problems settling in and getting into trouble etc. Ive started really concentrating on positive things at home so that he feels more confident at school (so eg. he is very good at reading and we've been making a real effort at home with this - buying him lots of new books - letting him choose things he'd really like to read etc. This has meant that he has moved even further ahead with it at school. this means that even if he has other difficulties - he knows that each day he will get praise for doing someting very well.)
Good Luck!
Kizziex

To add a note ELD and all, although I would not be concerned that your daughter has OCD, she just seems anxious right now. If it continues,of course you would take her to the GP to have her checked. My middle boy suffered with ADD with OCD features and he was also a chronic handwasher, he did other things, sniffing his finger over and over and then we went though a phase where he couldn't swallow solid food on and off for several days. We worked alot with his diet and avoided medication for this, but of couse, whenever he was going through any life changes, start of summer, start of school etc., these nervous behaviors would kick in again and it was awful for him. He is 13 now and he uses a Bach Flower Remedy 3 times a day- the Rescue Remedy, and he loves it. Just a thought for your DD Eld, maybe it would help? Nice support on here for you ELD, it is so good to hear everyone's experiences.

at school they talk alot about catching germs and i think they trigger this- my ds3 same age is doing exactly the same- -however ds1 hated mess on his hands so was always washing-he has asperger's and he's avoided the hand washing now by simply not getting dirty-

ELD - I just wanted to check on how you were feeling about stuff, haven't heard back from you since your original post and I wanted to make sure you were ok. How your little girl is at the momnent. Does she still seem anxious about things?

Thank you all of you. My daughter's symptoms went on (especially the fear of scratching, even though we cut her nails really short and explained they couldn't hurt) through the weekend until Sunday afternoon when I took her to see her best friend who has moved house. The symptoms then instantly improved, so that they have about 90% disappeared! It seems her friend (with whom she was looked after from the age of 6 months) moving out of the street - even though to somewhere only about 5 mins' drive on her - has had a really profound impact. We didn't realise because she didn't really say anything about it, though.

In the meantime, her school teacher remains worried about her "bad" behaviour which seems to consist mainly of refusing to sit on the carpet (for stories etc) when asked to. I am very much LESS concerned about this than about the obsessive behaviour, naturally. I have suggested the teacher (who is in her first job and a bit anxious herself) should ignore my daughter doing this, but she says she feels unable to do this because she fears the other 29 kids in class would then also misbehave. I think the teacher is making a mistake by rewarding my daughter's fairly trivial misbehaviour with her attention - I think if she ignored it she would soon stop. In the meantime we have agreed to give positive attention in other ways eg the teacher is making time to read with her and has made her a 'special' book monitor. Hoping this positive attention will help build her confidence back up.

That's great news that things have improved ELD
Thanks for letting us know.

ELD - glad you got to the bottom of it and all improved.
Kizziex

Glad to hear this ELD!

Thanks to all of you for your support - hadn't used mumsnet before but it has really helped

PS I've started another thread on dd's school problems (under education - 4 yr old won't sit on carpet)

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Are you enjoying yourself Poppins, bringing up all the old threads ??