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Is this normal 3.5yr old behaviour?!

3 replies

ladypop · 17/06/2013 14:01

Our sociable and loving 3.5 yr old DS has had biting issues for the past year which have eased over time but in the last 5 months he has become more physical when he is in a situation he doesn't like or is faced with another child he has a disagreement with. He gets so angry, so quickly!! It can involve kicking, pushing, screaming or biting. He is average at sharing (I know most children have issues in this area) but it seems we are always having to tell him to share/play nicely as the other child always comes off worse. We have tried calmly talking to him about it but in the heat of the moment all of this goes out the window. He has gone to nursery since 6 months old so is very used to being around others. I had a baby 2 months ago and I know this may have subconsciously made things worse for him. However, I can't face taking both children out to social events (soft play or birthday parties) by myself at the moment as I have to watch him like a hawk and obviously need to be looking after baby too. We always praise him for good behaviour when he has played/shared nicely. This behaviour just seems to be getting worse and is extended toward me and his dad now.... With his temper flipping from 0 to 60 in about 5 seconds! I just wondered if we should hang on in there and hope it improves or talk to someone professional about it to see what we can do to help him.

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
MrsOakenshield · 17/06/2013 14:08

I'm hoping that someone with experience of this will come along soon but just a couple of thoughts - can you have the baby in a sling so that yours hands are free, that might help in playgroup situations? And I know many people get very good advice from their health visitor, so perhaps worth running past them. And finally, are you able to give your DS any one-to-one time, hard I know with a baby, but could DH take the baby for an hour or so while you and DS have time together, let him decide what you're going to do, make it something to look forward to?

mrswee · 17/06/2013 14:15

Hi

I was just about to post a very similar thing. My 3.5 year old DD is having terrible issues when with other children, she isn't violent as such but is snatching, grabbing and screaming in her friends faces when we are on play dates. She gets so angry and for some part it seems to be attention seeking.
I am told that she is fine at nursery and pretty good at sharing.
I don't know if this is normal behaviour or not really as some of her friends do seem the same but many of their parents would never admit it.
I have also recently had a baby and this is worse since he was born.
I am at my wits end and have also started avoiding play dates and sociabl situations and I know friends have started not to invite us round as much as it's just too stressful for everyone.
Sorry I can't give any answers but I do know how you feel!

MrsOakenshield · 17/06/2013 14:20

I think playdates round other peoples' houses can be pretty miserable whatever - DD isn't happy about others playing with her toys and is wary and takes a while to settle in at others - either way she clings to me quite a bit and often isn't very happy. Maybe keep social situations to playgrounds and parks for the mo, in this marvellous summer weather we're having??

Also, another thought - DD is at nursery 3 days a week, and I have discovered that to be honest, she doesn't really want to be around other children on the 2 days I have with her, I think she's had enough! There are perhaps one or two other children she's happy to see, but I have started to keep those days just for us.

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