Problem MIL with no common sense

[Boredworkingmum020]

I'm looking for some advice. My MIL is an alcoholic. When I have birth last year she managed to give up the booze and was great. Last October I had to go into work and she ended up looking after 4 month old DS for an hour. When I returned home she was staggering round drunk holding my baby and fell over holding him whilst trying to stop me taking him back. She had drunk half a bottle of gin. I have made it clear to my other half she is never to be alone with him again. We went to visit at weekend. They have got a new terrier. My DS is just walking and this dog kept jumping up at him trying to lick his face. We ended up just picking up DS. Later we asked mil to hold dog whilst DS had 10 min play on floor I went in other room to pick up his drink. I came back in and dog was running round with DS toys in his mouth. I took them in kitchen to wash them came back out and she had left dog and my one year old on their own in the lounge. I was so angry. In my eyes she is a liability round my son. To cap it all she then left me a drunken abusive voice message when we went home. Any advice on how to deal with this? Anyone faced anything similar? Luckily they live some distance away and this is our first visit since the gin incident. I really don't want my son exposed to this. It's so hard on my OH.

Did you know the dog would be there? Was DH with you, what was he doing? Why did you leave her, your child and a dog in the same room?

Yes we knew dog would be there but assumed they would try and control it. Dh was putting up travel cot in bedroom. I assumed she would have some common sense and not put dog down again and didn't cross my mind she would be stupid enough to just leave them. Looks like I will have to watch both my MIL And DS like a hawk. It's a sad state of affairs though when you can't leave a child with its grandma for 1 min

She sounds like a nightmare.

However there are two of you and one just-mobile baby, I think you just have to assume she is not a responsible adult and make sure your your dp are always looking after your own child.

You or your dp .. That should read

I think you and OH have to both agree that his mother is just not capable of taking responsibility for a small child, and you will both have to behave accordingly. One of you will have to stay where DS is and make sure of his welfare at all times. It is sad, but you need to both be realistic about her inability to stay sober or have any sense of what is appropriate when looking after a small child.

She was for once actually sober at this time otherwise she wouldn't have been near DS but seems incapable even when not drunk. Have said we are not staying there again and not to leave them alone even if she is sober.

I think you need to rely on yourself only and not ask M to do anything for you at all. Ever. Always have both children with you at all times - even visiting the loo or loading the car. Also ask for the dog to be put outside during your visits.

Agree, it is sad but you can't assume that she will be alright. You need to assume that she is in fact a total liability and you and DH take full respond illite for your child.