End of my tether with DD's anxiety :( time for CAMHS?

[fuzzpig]

I am exhausted. DD worries about everything. It's been at least a year but I can't really put my finger on when or how it got worse.

I am really anxious myself. I am immensely paranoid and have social anxiety, and recently saw a psychiatrist about possible Aspergers, although he then said he thinks I have OCD. But I should add that I was abused as a child so I don't believe that ALL (some, yes - my dad is very likely on the autistic spectrum) of my problems are innate/genetic.

You know what, I spent the first few years of DD's life (she is nearly 6) SO happy that she is nothing like me. She was confident, skipped into nursery/school without looking back, makes friends easily... and now she is turning into ME and I don't know what to do :(

She has a stressful life for sure - both DH and I have been unwell (nothing life threatening but certainly impacts on life) but she is doing brilliantly at school.

For the first time tonight, having just spent an hour talking her out of her current fears, I thought "we need professional help".

Any advice please?

Speak to your GP (I rang mine for a chat about DD, I didn't know if I should take her in or not) he referred her to CAMHS after a conversation with me. You can also self refer to CAMHS in some areas. The GP should be able to advise.

If you do get on the waiting list for CAMHS there could be a loong waiting list. In the meantime there may be charities local to you that could offer support. Contact the school, they probably will have a mentoring programme which she could access fairly quickly.

Have you tried worry dolls?

Hope things work out x

I look at your post and see that you say it's about DD but most of it is about you and your history....is it possible that you are transferring your own anxiety onto what are perfectly "normal" fears for a 6 year old?

You don't say what she's afraid of or how int manifests...so its hard to judge really.

I should add...I have 2 DDs aged 5 and 8 and they both have anxieties and fears sometimes...most kids do. It's when those thigns get in the way of the child enjoying day to day life that you need to look for help...do your DDs worries stop her in any way?

See that's what has held me back so far neo. I figured I was just noticing more because of my own issues. (Not to mention the fact I was paranoid because my OP is more about me than DD and you all might think I'm really self involved, etc etc... )

She checks things over and over. Like if it's non uniform day she will ask several times the night before "are you sure" etc and on the way to school too. Not in a PITA way, she is genuinely panicky that she is getting it wrong.

It does stop her wanting to do stuff now, yes. Eg tomorrow we are going to the MN movie screening at the O2, she was so excited but now she is upset about it being in London not our usual cinema, she is worried she will lose her Happy Meal Minion toy by leaving it somewhere, and that she will miss daddy. I know they sound really small/normal worries but the amount and the extent to which they 'take over' breaks my heart TBH, she just totally withdraws and seems so miserable and sometimes doesn't know why.

Maybe she is just the more anxious end of normal but I want to help and am at a loss as to how to do it on my own.

(sorry my post got eaten before - what I wanted to say was that she really worries about being worried iyswim)

yes definitely ask for a referral to CAHMS via your GP. Go prepared with some really good/concrete examples of why you think she needs it. Waiting list is long. Seeing CAHMS won't necessarily help your daughter but it is worth a try if she is regularly distressed.

In the meantime, this is a very good book
Read the book with her and try to do Worry Time with her every evening. I can't recommend this enough, it has helped dd so much.

That's funny (well, sort of!) Donkey - I ordered that from the library today - I've seen it before but not read it.

I recently read her 'the huge bag of worries' (a picture book) and we talked about how it is good to talk about your worries.

I'll start listing concrete examples with DH, thanks bassington

As a sufferer of extreme anxiety I can totally understand why you are worried - there is a very strong possibility that she has 'learnt' this behaviour from you.

Maybe family therapy is the way forward? I agree with the posts that suggest you speak to school and your GP, the school may be able to refer you to an Ed Psych for some help for her if they are aware that she is more worried than she should be at that age.