Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

What am I doing wrong?

3 replies

IceAddict · 15/06/2013 12:17

I have Ds 5 Dd 3, I know its normal for children to bicker and mess around when together so I can deal with that. My Dd is 3.2 and scribbles on anything and everything, if she finds a pen, pencil, crayon, any makeup or anything that can make a mark with, she will. On walls furniture, herself, her brother, anything.

She constantly goes in the fridge helping herself to anything, this is a new thing she never did it until last few months. This morning I leave the room for 5 mins to get dressed and she has covered one of Ds's toys completely in butter and pressed sweetcorn into it! Its like she waits for me to turn my back and causes as much destruction as she can. She will squeeze tomato puree all over the kitchen and if we forget to put the latch on our bedroom door and she finds my makeup she will get as much as she can on the carpet and walls before we catch her.

I've tried shouting, explaining, threatening punishments, naughty step, putting her in her room etc.

Other than this she is a delightful little girl who is a pleasure to be around and we do spend lots of time together alone as well as social stuff like playgroups and child minder.

My son is 5 and has been a handful but he's getting better, although he still doesn't listen to me a lot of the time and torments his sister he is quite cheeky and ignores me if I ask him not to do something. Like his sister he is lovely caring and polite when he's not causing chaos.

Is this all normal? Am I stressing too much? When they're well behaved, I'm confident that I'm good mum. At the moment I feel like a rubbish mum who cannot control her children or get anything done as I have to watch them like a hawk constantly. Thanks

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
CreatureRetorts · 15/06/2013 13:35

First of all, keep all of the stuff out of reach. Put it up high and a lock on the fridge. Keep pens in one place.

Also you're giving her a lot of negative attention for when she does these things. To her it is attention. That's all that matters to her! So if she does it, stay calm, take stuff away and clean up without a fuss. Ask her to help but If she doesn't, ignore her and clear up.

You should show her what to do, eg drawing on paper, give plenty of encouragement. Make up - let her do it with you. Cooking stuff - cook in the kitchen and tidy up afterwards. Basically showing her what should be done and praising her for that.
It might take a bit of time for it to settle in, but persevere and you should see an improvement.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 15/06/2013 14:09

It does sound more full on than you might expect for a 3 year old...how is her language? Understanding? Does she get plenty of opportunities for messy play? One of my DDs is a messy thing and loves making mixtures and cooking and sand and water and mud...I have to set her up in the garden almost daily so that she can indulge in her passion.

IceAddict · 15/06/2013 16:24

Thank you for replying, yes she gets loads of messy play and active time, we even chalk and paint the patio etc, got tons of colouring books. she has loved drawing from an early age and is quite dextrous with crayons etc. maybe she just cant get enough of it! I think she uses my makeup because we have done it together and she watches me. shes quite good with her abilities, she is independent and likes to do shoes/getting dressed herself and her speech is good a tiny touch of a lisp but could grow out of it. Like I say shes good otherwise, not had any probs with bedtimes or anything so have been lucky. Im just so worn out trying to stop it that the little things are getting to me more. It helped to get it off my chest and I will withdraw too much negative attention and give praise when shes good. I cuddle and love them both equally and a lot. Hoping this is a phase. WineTonight. Thanks again

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page