If you ground your child and they are sat there sobbing, do you comfort them or not?

[ceebeegeebies]

DS1 is nearly 7 and I have just grounded him and threatened him with missing a big football match tomorrow. He is sat here sobbing and I just want to give him a cuddle as I would normally do if he is upset but not sure if that is going to undermine the punishment iyswim.

help, I am a novice at this

I would.
The punishment is the grounding- no need to add withdrawal of affection, which should never be a punisent IMHO.
You say you've threatened not letting him go to the football- is the grounding for tonight only?
Give h a cuddle and tell him you expect perfect behaviour tonight and football is on for tomorrow.
What did he do?

I would still give him a cuddle.

I'd explain that the grounding still stands and why but I wouldn't withdraw affection, especially as he's only 7.

I would cuddle too - and recognize how upset he is feeling by saying something like "you look really sad about missing the football"

thank you it goes against my instinct to not cuddle him but thought it would send mixed messages as I am also angry at him iyswim.

I let him play outside with a friend tonight. it was the first time I trusted him to play where I couldn't see him but gave him strict instructions of where he could play...lo and behold he wandered off with his friend and I had no idea where he was

I don't really want him to miss football tomorrow as it is a match between the 2 teams he plays for so a bit of a one off experience so I have told him I will let DH (who is away tonight) decide so I am thinking of letting DS stew overnight and tell him in the morning that he can play but he is still grounded. does that sound reasonable??

I would cuddle in this situation but not during a time out!

Could you give him the opportunity to 'earn back' the football match?

He had calmed down and we have had a cuddle and a chat. Turns out they had gone to call for another boy who lives at the bottom of our road. ironically if he had come and asked me if he could go and call for X I probably would have said yes!!

He has apologised and is being particularly helpful - he even came and told me it was his bedtime at 8 o clock even though he was watching a cricket match which I know he would want to watch to the end.

He sounds like he's making an effort to be responsible, which shows he's learned his lesson. Tell him he can play, go on : )