9 year old son .... the "Spectrum" ... issues at school

[Pottymum14]

Sun 09-Jun-13 22:46:05 Pottymum14

Originally posted this on educational needs but behaviour may be appropriate too ......

So it's a long story ... my son is nearing the end of year 4, has just been referred to pyschology department after a year long wait and seeing an autism paedotrician twice who has mentioned she thinks he may have dispraxia. Hubby and I were convinced she was going to mention Aspergers as he shows clear signs of this. He has poor core strength, hypermobility, balance which are all symptons of dispraxia so we have to wait and see if we get a diagnosis, soon we hope! So, he really struggles on a social level with his peers at school on a daily basis, they tease, taunt and torment him, he tells us different names everyday and teacher/head master have supported us in some capacity but not enough really. It breaks my heart, my son is so pleasant, well mannered and can talk the hind leg off a donkey and that is the main reason he alienates himself at school bless him!!! Asked him today who he does get on with in his class of 30 children and he could name just one child ... its really sad. Apparently although this has not affected him academically too much his class teacher told the school nurse on Friday that he now finds it hard to concentrate and his hand writing is suffering (left handed with hypermobility does not help) ... this is news to us so even more concerned now. Complete lack of communication. So I am thinking now, do we move him to another school, bullies exist everywhere so will it help?? I really think a smaller class size would really benefit my son but if all schools are 30 pupils there's no point upheaving. Would appreciate any advice if anyone has similar stories ....

Have you considered home schooling?

It can really benefit those children who struggle socially at school.

It's not for everyone, but works brilliantly for some...

The dyspraxia foundation is a good place to start.

There are lots of tips that a OT will be able to give you so push for follow ups. Once you have a diagnosis in writing you could push for the school to provide special help for your son, including one-to-one to help with strenghtening of his hand and help with handwriting, balance, etc. How much are you able to do at home with him? I can give you lots of tips to help, but whatever the diagnostic is you can still do lots at home with him.

If he struggles socially ask for the school to have an individual educational plan and help support his social development. Bullying is not acceptable and the school will NEED to be proactive about it. Otherwise you can ask for him to be observed in the classroom by an educational psychologist. You have a lot of work in front of you.

But to help, there are a few things that can really make a difference, lots of exercises, learning to swimming is very good, as well as a small trempoline (carefully because he is probably hypermobile in the knees). Trempoline is a very good exercise. Also you can get a wobble board which really helps develop core muscles (www.firstaid4sport.co.uk/cid/PTMCO0YW3FK7A4AFASY5TYYCDTO30TLL/Firstaid4sport-Wobble-Board-P6812/ ).

Can he cycle?

My DS has dyspraxia, hypermobility and hypotonia, and verbal dyspraxia. Because of the verbal dyspraxia he was diagnosed early (he was 5) so we've had time to learn about it.

Would he do karate lessons? It's brilliant for coordination and for self confidence, and for muscle memory, and for sequencing. Go around a few karate schools and talk to the coaches, many of them know about dyspraxia and are excellent at helping out.

Hi, thanks so much for replies!

So he currently goes to swimming lessons, gaining confidence, getting stronger but still using floats. Loves his scooter, very good. Still have stabilisers on bike, not so good! Loves the trampoline, no problems there.

So last year at the advice of his then teacher (dreadful) to "toughen him up" to his peers . . . Started him at karate. Worst thing we could have done, the instructor was hopeless, no discipline in the class and unfortunately my son became the punching bag for the little so and so's.

We are just awaiting to receive his school end of year report to see if things have deteriorated socially and academically and then we will have a case for the school to answer to.

Thanks for your advice, appreciated.

School learning has definitely been in my mind - asked my son how he would feel if we converted garage to classroom! He didn't like that idea!!?

If you are really thinking about home ed come and ask on the home ed board - I home ed my son because I was sure he would struggle socially at school due to several issues - it has been eye opening on so many levels, for a start you won't need a classroom! There are many approaches to home ed but you do not need to do 'school at home' unless you and he want to. There are also lots of people home edding children on the spectrum or nearly so for the sorts of reasons you have explained.