You made me get the big guns out because it's a competition now.
Hmmm. Where do I start?
Starting from getting up:
OK, I am unique in having a fussy 3.5 year old who lets me dress her I admit.
But we go to:
Won't do hair (screams to neighbours of YOU'RE HURTING ME MUMMEEEEEE!)
Teeth/face (Flannel is clearly soaked in acid)
Breakfast: Not eaten unless it's on the right plate/in front of the right DVD/spread with the right knife/with the right spread/next to the spilled sultana bran (spot the mum choice) [at this point slippers must be kicked off for maximum it's cold mum stress]
Lunch: On the right bar stool (yes, wish we had a bar), with the right implement to whisk the right number of cracked eggs/with the right amount of butter in the right bowl/ and the right shape ( 3 squares and three triangles - we nipped the diamonds in the bud) of toast to go with said eggs.
Dinner: In the right 'relaxing clothes' with the right colour of tomatoes (yellow, not red fgs), on the right Postman Pat plate, with the right juice and the right forks.
Bedtime {summarised for everybodys sanity} The right books/ night time nappy/ blankets / toys / monster ritual / door open by x cm / don't let the bed bugs bite said really fast / rice cakes by the side of the bed / orange sippy.
For my prize I'd like to have a long weekend away anywhere from here, with plenty of wine and shoulder massages. Rice cakes not welcome. Thank you.