Please tell me this is "normal" 2 yr old behaviour!

[WazzaWoo]

My DD is 2yrs 4 months and I must say I am starting to dread each day! I am a sahm and have no help from friends/family so have her 24/7. She seems to be getting worse each day with tantrums, winging and everything I do never seems enough for her. For example went out to a local farm
Today so see the animals etc and all she wants is more more., never seems happy with what we are doing.

Is this normal 2 yr old behaviour? I am getting so down thinking I am doing something wrong!

Btw she was a very unhappy baby too so I'm just feeling like a complete failure.

That's why they call it the "terrible two's" ! I'm going through it with my 2.10m year old and it can be tough going so i feel your pain.
My dd is going through the scratching, wingeing, hitting stage.
My best advice is to ignore her whilst she tantruming, put her in the pushchair and carry on walking. I think the more attention they get from being naughty, the worse they get.

I'm in exactly the same situation as you. Ds is 2.2 and as much as I love him every day is a massive struggle. He won't do anything, go anywhere etc without moaning and crying. Big strops 24/7. He's always been like this but getting worse and worse. He never stops. I generally manage to wrestle him into bed at around 11pm ( please don't flame me I've tried everything) I think most 2 yo go through what everyone says is the terrible twos. Keep trying lots of different distraction techniques. And if she continues to be unreasonable just firmly say no and have no further discussion until she is reasonable. ( I know this very much depends on her level of communication) but just a thought. My ds has recently been referred as he is showing signs of possible ADHD and a couple of other things so may not be the right advice for you. It does sound pretty normal to me though. Have a lot of friends with Dcs the se age and they are all pulling their hair out!! Apparently it does pass as their communication and talking develops. ( here's hopeing!) sorry for the ramble, and probably no help just didn't want to not reply.

Thankyou absent, actually just someone telling me they are going through the same is helpful. Yes it is very tough going! Just feels like it will never end... X

My DS2 (26mo soon) can also be very whingey (then again, so can 4.6yo DS1) & I find that it's usually one of the following things: teething pain, hunger/thirst, tiredness or frustration at not being able to have what he wants. Usually, if the first 3 things are all OK, the last is far less likely to happen. My DS has very few words & squawks when he is frustrated, it is awful, but this too shall pass

God it really does! Haha. So hard to find the motivation all hours of the day without just screaming like a banshee or sitting and sobbing :-p there's naff all to do around here unless you have a bit of money or its good weather ( rural ish) so we end up going for lots of walks more like me dragging ds around as he refuses to walk for more than 30 seconds what's your dd into? My ds is kitchen and car crazy. So I've ended up getting him a real set of pots and pans and an actual steering wheel. It seems to have kept him quiet for about hmmmm 5 mins?!? X

How does she sleep?
What are the consequences for particularly bad behaviour?
I think it is normal for all kids to have these phases.
Sadly some of them have more of a 'phase' than others!

Thanks absent, my dd loves the park so we spend hours and hours running around! But at the moment no toys really seem to interest her!lol on the sobbing front! Could do that quite easily at the moment!
Smartiepants- my dd has just started sleeping through 7-7 the last 4 week's, if she is naughty I do timeout and explain the situation to her.

She just seems not to care , just hope it is a phase and passed quickly before I pull my hair out!

We use a naughty step. It does not work. At all. May switch to the time out idea. At least then I could just put him behind a stair gate rather than having to get up and put him back on the step at least 20 times

When I say I do time out.. I didn't say it worked Ha ha ha. I'd say half and half!worth a go though! X

Yep. Totally matched what my DS did.

I cheated, and pushed up my return to office (very understanding company!) so now DS is at nursery 2 days per week, and will soon go to three. Technically, we're paying for me to work at the moment, but it's worth it for the few months of sanity that I need and it will only be until funding starts.

Ha! Naughty step doesn't seem to have the desired effect on mine either! She puts herself on it to punish me!
Personally in the situation you described with the farm I would have given her a couple of warnings and then just taken her home. It's a bit extreme perhaps but if it happens a few times she should learn that you mean it and she might think twice.

Also here. My DD is 2.11 and very whiny a lot of the time. I have started to say things like 'use your words' and 'I don't understand when you winge, tell me what you want' which sometimes heads her off and makes her actually engage rather than just whining and tantruming, but more often nothing will work. It's heartbreaking cos I can often see that she sees a situation is going wrong but can't put it right so her tantrums are sometimes frustration at having gone off on the wrong foot if you know what I mean. With an older child I think you can just say "ok let's rewind and start again" but she doesn't have the concepts for that yet. Oddly she doesn't do any of this at nursery at all. It's nice that she saves these 'special moments' for me anyway yes it's sounds totally normal to me. Sympathies to you

Thank you all for taking the time to reassure me I'm not On my own!
Thanks ladies... Well today so far so good!!!
Let's hope it lasts!
X

quertas I have exactly the same with my dd 2.2 years old and she will hit, scratch and bite me but is as lovely as pie to everyone else! I know it's made worse at the moment as ds is 7 weeks old and every time he has my attention she plays up.

It's so good to know that others are having the same issues. naughty step doesn't work she doesn't grasp it. I've put up the baby play pen with no toys and I put her in it for times out as I found using her bedroom was messing with sleeping at night.

some days it's so hard to stay calm esp when she does things like walk up behind and bite back of leg, I've found myself slapping her as an automatic reaction before I realise I've done it as she's really hurt me. feel so guilty afterwards.

Yes! DD is the same age and is normally such a happy little thing but even by her standards she's turned into a whinger. At the moment it's "but I don't like it" even before she's seen what's for dinner, "no I am NOT doing that" etc, etc. It's really wearing and to be honest if I wasn't back at work part time I think I'd be really struggling too. Is there any way you can get more help/change your week around a bit? Work is my saviour at the mo!

Hi Mia- yes that's about it! I don't have anyone to help my dp works long hours, but is here most weekends. I have to work evenings as cannot afford childcare. But I must admit, I'd love to go back to work just to get a break!

Hello Wazzawoo, firstly it's not your fault that she is unhappy sometimes. I know it seems natural to judge our parenting by how much our kids tantrum or cry, but there are so many factors at work here, you sound like you are doing a great job of creating a wonderful life for your daughter and whatever whinging and crying is happening is not a reflection on you.
How was your pregnancy and birth? Did anything stressful happen that might lead her to have some upset feelings?
Did you know that crying and tantrums actually serves a healing purpose for children, that helps them overcome stresses (such as a difficult birth) , or simply the everyday tensions and frustrations of being a toddler? We tend to want to stop our children from crying, particularly if we are in public surrounded by judgy people! But stopping the crying is not the sane thing as stopping the upset feelings behind the crying, and a child remains unhappy and whining and moaning are quick to return.
actually listening to a child cry offering warmth and affection but not trying to distract them or move away from the situation to try and stop the tears as quickly as possible allows this healing to happen. When we listen to our children cry it can have a transformative effect on their mood.

Hi cloudhands- yes a very stressful pregnancy and birth, had 3a tears, had to go into theatre for 4 hours once she was born, shortly after I found out my nanny had cancer and 6 weeks later she was gone, this then lead to my mum going Off the rails so I suppose alot to deal with,people used to say the birth probably had an effect on the way she was as a baby?! Next time i have to have a c section, I wonder if it will make a difference. thank you for your post, means alot x

Wazza it sounds like you and your dd have gone through so much, no wonder things have been hard,

I really recommend the website hand in hand parenting they have lots of good articles about different children's behavior and a real understanding of how early experiences can effect parents and their children. It could help a lot.

Ok I will look at it, thank you so much, I am really grateful.