Just stop fiddling!

[grabaspoon]

Is it just my 5 year old dc who can't stop fiddling with things that aren't theirs and ignoring any requests not to do something - putting sand in water/fiddling with things that aren't theres/deliberately doing things like pouring bubble mixture on garden furniture despite knowing not to.

Plus the answer I wanted to but it was naughty - is starting to bug me!

Any suggestions.

Well. I have a 5 year old and she's always into things. The only way is to arrange things so they CAN pour water, mix sand and experiment.

I let mine make potions on the patio. I give her a lot of different containers and a big jug of water as well as a spoon and ladle...then she collects grass, flowers, stone etc and mixes it all up and makes a horrid mess. BUt it's a mess I can clear up easily.

Could you do this for him?

Thanks Neo :) But I do this and he just decides to do something else instead [aargh] He has free reign to do more or less as he likes [with exception but chooses to do the 1 or 2 things I have expressively said No to or just does what he knows isn't the best idea or what I might get cross about!

It's inside too - its not jus garden play

Do you remove things when he misuses them? Like the bubbles? I have banned bubbles from indoors...clear rules are needed so that you can enforce them, no bubbles....means "Take the bubbles outside please." if he fails to comply then he can have a countdown...1, 2, 3 and then you take them away...warn him "I will count to three and if the bubbles are not outside then I am taking them away."

Same with other things, remove them...and redirect him to something else.

My ds was like this. Very impulsive, meant well but couldn't follow through. Also has high sensory needs, so the fiddling is actually quite important to him. He got assessed for AS type stuff but really just grew out of most of it/brought it more under his control.

What worked for him was trying to avoid 'don't do x' type instructions as they often seemed to trigger the behaviour - better to tell him what he could rather than what he couldn't do. Also giving him things he could fiddle with was sometimes helpful just to keep his hands occupied.

In general though I'd say this was fairly normal behaviour, and your dc will almost certainly grow out of being quite so annoying/be able to think before doing things he knows he shouldn't.

A combination of strict rules you follow through on- so no bubbles inside say, and damage limitation.
So if you're driven mad by Lego clicking say, then put it on a rug rather than on a table.
Does it irritate other people? I ask having recently witnessed by Dad, a lovely man, being really snappy with my nephews drumming their heals at table. It irritated me, but as my dcs are all quite 'still' it made me wonder whether my intolerance of fidgeting had made them so- it's not necessarily a good thing.

Dd2 has the fiddliest fingers ever! She has half everyone elses number of fingers, but I'll swear they're each 10x as fiddly!