Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Flip

Original poster

2.5 year old DS constantly changing his mind

8 replies

Itchywoolyjumper · 04/06/2013 14:57

DS is 2.5 and really a lovely little boy but for the past 4 or 5 weeks has been an absolute nightmare. Whatever he's doing he wants to be doing something else and if we change to that thing he wants to change back immediately, all accompanied by the screaming abdabs.
This can go on all day with very little respite.
For example our normal routine is get up and have some brekkie and a half hour of telly. This morning he wanted to watch Thomas, changed his mind as the titles were rolling, wanted Dora, then Squiglet and was back to Thomas before I'd had a chance to get involved at all, screaming the whole time. Then we had a similar performance over rice crispies v toast and then what plate the toast was on. Then we had about an hour and a half of wanting to go to bed then not wanting to got to bed, screaming to get into bed and screaming to get back out again.
I'd like to make it clear we don't offer him all these choices, he just demands them and goes bonkers before anyone's said yes or no. I've started to limit him to one change of mind per item but this is also accompanied by screaming fit to bust.

Any ideas what to do before my ear drums burst and the last shreds of my sanity blow away in the next light breeze?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

puckertoe · 04/06/2013 15:15

Testing you?

Original poster

Itchywoolyjumper · 04/06/2013 15:28

To destruction Puckertoe

OP posts:

coronalover · 04/06/2013 20:34

hi itchy! my ds has phases of this too, it drives me round the bend!

i think the apparent responsibility for making a choice is over whelming for some reason. my ds behaves much better when he doesn't think he is making a choice. if he tries to change his mind about a tv program for example i'll tell him the other program is not working or that the 'other'park is closed. so letting him make a choice initially and then not letting him change his mind. it might sound a bit mean but it makes him much happier overall - HTH :)

CreatureRetorts · 04/06/2013 21:16

Well don't respond to all the request for changes.... Ignore him if he kicks off.

Also is he napping properly? My ds certainly didn't have the option of naps - he was having a nap and that was that. I would sit with him if I had to because otherwise he would be a demon. So he might tell me he doesn't want a nap but I would ignore.

Original poster

Itchywoolyjumper · 05/06/2013 20:28

Thanks for the replies. He had an asthma attack last night so it might be that yesterday was particularly hideous because he was gearing up to that.
However, you've raised some very good points which will hopefully make things a bit easier for us. He tries to watch or do everything at once so I don't think he's worked out how making choices work. Until he gets a handle on that I think it might be kinder on all of us if the choices are extremely limited.

OP posts:

MrsCosmopilite · 05/06/2013 20:33

DD is the same age and pretty much doing the same thing. You offer her something (e.g. Rice Crispies for breakfast) and she says no, she doesn't want it. So we don't put cereal out. Then she does want it.
Then she wants it with milk. Then she doesn't want the milk.
Then she wants a drink. No, she doesn't....

At the moment we're having a difficult time with baths as she simply won't get in. Or in the shower. So her hair is rather matted (not badly so, it's only been a few days) with suncream and food that she's rubbed in. However, I did manage to persuade her to have a proper wash down tonight.

I do try not to rise to the bait and not to get drawn into offering lots of alternatives. In the main, it works.

Good luck!

CreatureRetorts · 06/06/2013 06:20

Offer two choices not open ended ones. So say "do you want x or y?" not "do you want x".

HappyJoyful · 06/06/2013 10:49

Some very similar issues here too with 2.5yr old DD.

I feel exactly like you do Itchy that it's testing my patience!

I think our biggest battle isn't so much however her changing her mind, it's her refusal to do something - nappy changing and getting dressed undressed is a constant battle of wills..

Cosmo we've also had similar things with total refusal to get in bath It was great to get her in the paddling pool the other day with some shampoo in hand!

I've noticed that she does 'play up' much more for me then for DH and she is 100% not like this with her Childminder who has always been consistent and firm in her approach.

Am just trying to do what other's are saying and not pandering to it or taking bait and remaining firm and calm at same time and dreaming of a nice glass of wine once she's in bed!

I also find that in some ways I love her determination and strong willed nature, well the more I tell myself that it seems to help keeping me calm and firm!

Flip