My DS was a nightmare and we handled it all wrong because we tried to make him eat, wheedle, negotiate, punish him, reward him, the lot! At 6 he's now a pretty good (but painfully slow) eater but bugger me, the trauma we've had in getting here.
Totally different approach with DD and so far so good.
So here's the rules chez Limelight
(1) Ignore, ignore, ignore. Do not allow yourself to get stressed by this. She will in all likelihood, not waste away. 
(2) She eats the same as you. If she eats it, praise her - 'hurrah! What a good girl!' If she doesn't, take it away and don't react. Def don't do the 'you're naughty' or 'you're upsetting us' or 'why won't you eat?' I've done all of these things and it will only backfire on you.
(3) No pudding if she doesn't eat her dinner/lunch or whatever.
(4) For your own sanity, try to judge what she's eating over the course of a week. And remember to include what she snacks on - she may well be a grazer (my DD is) and isn't going to get the bulk of her calories from actual sit down meals. If you think about it, sitting down at a table three times a day must be pretty arbitrary for a toddler.
(5) Good snacking. Cheese, fruit, bread sticks, ham, hard boiled eggs (my DD loves them as a snack but would turn her nose up if on a plate at the dinner table).
(6) Table manners. My DC don't have to eat, but they do have to sit at the table properly while everyone else does. If they don't have anything, then it's their lookout.
(7) And relax! It'll get better but you really must play the long game.
I hope that helps. It's a really tough phase I think.